a day in the life of…

So we’ve been in our new place for three weeks now.  I love the new place… it looks awesome and feels like home.  I’ve been at my new place of work almost three weeks now… and it’s been… an experience.  It’s been a bumpy ride so far.

I have been working my butt off to be honest… and have more work than I can handle by myself.  I running from the moment I show up.  It’s really stressful.  Not to mention that I get split days off… so it seems like I never have any down time.  I am tired all the time.  This, of course, interferes with home.  I go and go…. and I feel like I’m about to drop around 8 at night.  I just have no time.

So this means not a lot of time for play…. and really our dynamic has kind of fallen to the side.  We keep trying to restart… it’s just not happening.  Something always comes up… work… or being sick… etc…. and honestly, it’s frustrating.  I think in the last three weeks we’ve had sex three times.  It’s just really crappy.  I miss it… but I’m not going nuts over it like I normally would. That is cause I am overworked… and my brain is always on the go.

Part of me feels like… I just don’t want to go back to our dynamic.  I don’t see how I have time to all the extra stuff that entails.  When will I have time for that? I just don’t know.  I want to go back to playtime as well… but I fell ho hum about that too.  Deep down I miss it… but I don’t have that driving desire to have play time.  I’m sure it will be one of those things that once I do it again, I’ll get that playtime buzz.  Right now… I just don’t feel that way.  I am so worn thin I don’t have much more to give.

I don’t like this feeling.  I don’t like being so tired… and I most certainly don’t like having sex once a week.  I just… ugh!

home sweet home

Long time no see… eh?

I have to say that the last month has been nothing but crazy.  From the day we found out that we were going to move… till today… we have been on the go.  It was simply exhausting.  Everyday held something to do.  I’d work.. then go home and work more.  There was tons to pack… stuff to get in order… a new place to find.. etc.  I was always tired and found very little time to relax.  Trying to uproot your life and move 70 miles away in three weeks is tiring.

Moving week came this week.  We packed all of our belongings into a uhaul truck on Tuesday night… and headed north first thing Wednesday morning.  The whole process was very hard on us…. moving is not an easy thing.  By the end of the day we were thoroughly drained.  We went out for dinner and I distinctly remember feeling so out of it… I had nothing left.  We came home to a sea of boxes that would need to be sorted through.  Somehow we got a second wind of sorts and started trying to make sense of the mess that was our new home.

We were up pretty late that night… and that was the start of what would take us till today to finish.  It all came together pretty nicely though.  As it took form… there was that sense of happiness… of being home.  I love our new place.  It feels like the place I’ve always meant to live in.  What is even better is that this is the first place that Ben and I had picked together.  The house we were living in was one I was in before meeting him.  So this place is very much us.. put together by our hands.  It’s a great feeling.

So all that is left to do now is hang a few more pictures and we will be completely settled in.  I start my new job on Tuesday… and haven’t really thought much about it.  I am pretty focused on getting things put together in the house.  Now that it’s all done, I imagine I’ll be thinking more about it.  I am supposed to go have lunch with Issac tomorrow.  It’s been over two weeks since I’ve seen him.  Finding time to see him hasn’t been really easy as I’ve been far too busy.

So that’s where I am right now.  I am very much alive…and quite happy.  It’ll be nice to have more time to relax again.  I can’t wait to get back to a normal schedule.  I should be able to get back to a normal posting schedule too.  So… keep your eyes out for me!