Category: toys


>When it’s been a while between our more aggressive sexual adventures…. it’s funny the emotions I go through. It ranges from uneasiness (over reconditioning my mind and body to accept intense pain) to pure excitement. This was the case Saturday night.

I hadn’t been sleeping well and so after the third night of this.. I decided it was time we rotated the mattress. Ben came into the room… I had already pulled the blanket, sheet, and pillows onto the floor. I was only wearing a thsirt… my ass barely peeking out. As I bent I felt his hand rub against my exposed skin. I let out a sigh… making sure he knew I liked it.

His fingers traced the line of my ass… giving way to the soft skin of my pussy. I gasped when I felt his fingers rub my clit somewhat roughly. He gave it a few strokes before moving his fingers back.. and plunging into me. I pushed back against his hand… and whimpered when they left after only a minute.

We went about turning the bed… and as we were putting the stuff back on… I was bent over the bed again fixing the covers. I didn’t even notice him coming up behind me… and planting a firm smack on my ass. His hand hand up on my back… holding me down…. then applied several more swats to each cheek.

He let me up after… saying it was shower time. The shower was uneventful…. each of us showering in silence only glancing up at each other here and there exchanging a smile or a knowing look. When I finally exited.. I did my after shower routine… as Ben had already left the bathroom. I listened as I brushed my teeth… hearing the tell tale sounds of our toy drawer. I felt the fear somewhat grow in my stomach. It had been weeks since I had endured any sort of prolonged pain. I also felt the excitement of the impending treatment…

I couldn’t draw it out anymore… and walked out of the bathroom only to be met by Ben.. holding two of my vibrators. He handed them to and told me to make sure they were clean (apparently they hadn’t been used in a while…who knew that drawers got so dusty). As I washed them… he came in for a towel.

I followed him into the bedroom.. and this is where my memory gets hazy. Its funny how more intense something is.. the harder it is to remember.

I was pushed over the corner of the bed…. no warm ups… just powerful blows from the flogger… over and over. The first ones had no rhythm to them… so hard to stay focused and not cry out. Soon, though, his assault had a steadiness to it.. that allowed me to sink into a quiet enjoyment.

He wouldn’t allow that for long… dragging me to my knees… slamming his cock down my throat. He fucked my face while he continued working on my back and ass. As he did so…. he told me that he wanted me to present parts of my body for him to whip… which made me shudder. There is something about choosing your fate so to speak that makes it all the more hard to endure.

He pulled away… and instructed me to go ahead and show him where to spank. I thought for a second… and turned… getting on my hands and knees. I arched my back and stuck my ass in the air. He did not hesitate.. and just as quickly as I had got into position… the first blow fell across my ass. Over and over the flogger falls made contact with my skin.. sometimes making me scream… other times making me moan.

Soon he was ready for a new target… and urged me to pick something else. I sat up a bit laying across the bed… pointing to my back. There was a confidence in that choice… as it’s my favorite place to be flogged. He moved onto my newly selected spot. Strike after strike… I laid there enduring what he dished out.

After a bit.. I was told to pick a new spot. I pointed to the backs of my thighs this time. He only got a few hits in on this spot. One blow hit the side of my thigh… wrapping around… that brought forth such pain. I gasped… and screamed.. and felt my chest tighten trying to find air…. and the tears filling my eyes. I begged him to stop…

“Why?”, he said… dripping with condescension.

“Because it hurts”, I choked out.

“But it’s supposed to hurt, isn’t it? And you like it, don’t you?”, he was all smiles… I could tell without even looking.

“Yes”, was all I could respond with… between deep breaths trying to keep from completely falling apart.

He knew I didn’t want him to stop.. and pressed forward to picking another spot. For whatever crazy reason (maybe because I know how much he likes it), I picked my pussy. I rolled over.. spreading my legs for him. He offered up his cock to help distract me from the attack I was about to feel.

I took him deep into my mouth… and his soothing words rolled from his lips… asking if I was ready. And so… he began…. getting in a few good hits before I couldn’t take more. The tears came back to my eyes. I could feel panic filling me… but he has a way of calming me… bringing me back to where he needs me to be.

Soon I was laying there.. legs spread… willing to accept more. He was going to give me one more…. one more good one. The fear grew in me…. waiting.. wondering when it’d come… my mouth full of his cock again. Then out of no where.. the last stinging blow hit my tender flesh. I pulled my legs up to me… laying in a ball. There was no stopping the tears this time.. as they streamed down my face.

He told me to breathe… to calm myself… as he moved around to the other side of the bed. He got me off the bed… I leaned in to suck his cock again… but was met with resistance. The wood handle of the flogger was at my throat.. causing me to struggle to reach even the tip. I struggled.. pushing harder.. digging the wood into my throat to finally reach my prize.

Satisfied with my struggle…. he removed the flogger. I moved my head up and down… fucking him with my mouth. Words flowed from his mouth as I did as I was expected.

“So I guess I should tell you what I have planned for you tonight. Those two vibrators you cleaned are going into your pussy…. and I’m going to fuck your ass. Like that idea?”, he asked… as if he was talking about what he had for lunch.

I could feel the dread coming over me. I don’t prefer being fucked in the ass when we play harder… my body isn’t as relaxed as it needs to be to allow him to do so without hurting me. So.. yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to it.

He pulled away from me… and told me to get onto the bed on my back. I did so…as hee pulled me to him… my legs spreading again. There wasn’t pain.. but pure pleasure as he slid deep into my pussy.. filling me. I cooed…. enjoying the reward I had earned.

His arms wrapped around my thighs… fucking me… my fingers wandered down… and started rubbing my clit. My eyes shut and went with it… fully enjoying all the sensations that flowed through my body. This wouldn’t be all I’d get though…. soon I found myself void of his cock…. and had my cunt filled with the first of two vibrators.

I took the first one with ease. One is no problem by any means. He fucked me vigorously with it…. making sure I was nice and wet (like that’s any problem). He only stopped to slid the other in… stretching my pussy out. I felt so full…. words escape me in how to accurately describe it.

He pushed my knees up further.. getting better access to my ass. Normally I would put up some resistance… but honestly I was pretty far gone by then… so I laid there… letting him do whatever he wanted.

With one hand.. he held the vibrators in place.. and the other.. he squeezed a ton of lube into the slit of my ass. I heard him set the bottle down… then felt the tip of his cock press against me. I had very little fight in my body.. which was probably a good thing… and worked in my favor.

I felt him slip inside of me… pressing further and further… not giving me much time to adjust to the stretching of my ass. I reached down again… rubbing my clit.. trying to keep the focus on something more enjoyable. Finally when he was all the way in… he begin pumping in and out… more forceful than he’d normally be.

After a few more minutes of his cock and the vibrators fucking me… I asked him for more lube as my body was tensing and it was starting to hurt. He obliged me… then went back to the task at hand.. sliding back in and not giving any adjustment time.

By then I was so far gone… the sensations were overwhelming.. and I could feel myself deep in subspace.. where very little could touch me. I’m not even sure how much time passed…. or how many times my body trembled with orgasms. Though, at some point.. his seed spilled into my ass. When his orgasm subsided he pulled out… then pulled the vibrators out.

I pulled away… curling into a ball… as he slipped into bed up behind me enveloping me in his arms. This is when the whole experience washed over me…. and tears poured from my eyes.. like this wonderful release of anything bad that I felt. In that very second… I was wonderful… and felt just.. well good.

Moments like that are probably hard to describe or understand unless you’ve experienced them. I’ve had very few experiences like that… and I wouldn’t trade them for the world…. they are simply amazing.

It took me almost a hour to full snap out of it… and be completely normal… but it was so totally worth it. It was good stuff indeed.

>Life is constantly moving forward. The sun will always rise…. just as sure as it will set… this has always been a constant.

Ten years ago.. you could have never convinced me that I would get off on pain… no way, no how. But, then again…. there are lots of things that you could not have convinced me of then. Hell, FIVE years ago… I probably wouldn’t have believed it either- yet here I am… craving that sensation. The drug I will never get enough of…

I love spankings… this I’m sure you know by now. I am fascinated by it…. the feel of it… the mind set it puts me in. So when Ben asked last night if I wanted him to get something that would hurt more than his hand… who was I to say no?

He left me bent over our bed… ass out… and walked past me to our closet. Instantly… I knew. I knew what he was going for. My heart felt like it sunk down between my knees with panic…. strange… since I have wanted to up the intensity. This is what I had been wanting.. what I had asked for. It was playing out in front of me.

My head raced… excited… scared… nervous…. thinking what he was going to produce was a plastic hanger. What I forgot about was the metal ones that still hung in there from his work uniforms. I tried to get a glimpse from out of the corner of my eye… but I didn’t even see so much as a tip.

He ran the cold metal over my back and skin. I shivered a bit… from the temperature of it… and the anticipation of feeling it make contact with my back side. I feared (or maybe hoped) for the worst. He asked if I was ready….. and even though I wasn’t sure I was… I said yes. Leading up to the first blow was worse in my mind than the actual event.

He tapped my ass a few times.. gently…. my body was full attention… waiting. Finally… the first real assault came… taking my breath away. It stung… bad. Just as I had imagined…. yet I still wanted more. It came as no real shock to me. While he started working me over.. my mind wandered… from the thoughts of wanting more… to not being sure I could take more…. to wondering if THIS is what a cane felt like.

Before he was done, Ben striped my ass… had a little fun with my breasts… and even managed to get me to spread my legs far apart to get one good swat on my cunt. I am fairly sure I could have taken more… that it could have went on for quite a bit longer. I’m not exactly sure why I let it end… I kind of was kicking myself as we laid there… quietly content in our post sex haze.

Once we pryed ourselves out of bed… I checked out my “war wounds” in the mirror. A sly grin came across my face to see the product of his love. (Because in my eyes…. he does this because I ask him to…. because he knows it’s what I need…. and so that it love.. to me amongst other things). There is something about when he marks me…. that brings me such joy. I wonder do all people that play so to speak enjoy their marks as much? Do they wear them like a badge of honor?

Even as I was in the bathroom at my father-in-laws (look for another post coming soon to a blog near you!)…. I turned to admire the red lines… and faint bruises in the mirror. Sigh. What more can a girl ask for?

>my love affair with spanking

>I’ve come to realize that recently…. spanking is a big thing to me. It’s probably THE thing for me… the thing I fantasize about more… long for most. Our experience in spanking is pretty limited, which makes me kind of sad. Hopefully we can work on that soon.

I’m terribly fascinated with implements… and the marks those leave. Take for instance the thing I’ve been wanting to try/get for some time now…. a cane. I’ve talked about it before. My feelings about this has not changed despite the time that has passed since I wrote that post. I’m sure that it would hurt much more than I can even imagine… but I would love every minute of it. I would love the delicious welts they would leave… and the soreness that would follow.

Another… something that I’ve never tried.. which seems silly with how common it is… a wooden hair brush. There is something kind of intriguing and naughty about being spanked over the knee with a hair brush. I’m not really sure what it is… such a ordinary object…. yet… I would like to know what that felt like.

Up next… another household item… the plastic spoon. Oh my does that thing pack a punch… but leaves the best bruises! Oh the sting they give… makes you want to dance around to get away from the bite of that item. I do have fond memories of moments with the spoon…. I have no complaints!

ANDDD a leather belt… Ben has a belt that looks almost exactly like this one.. but it’s black. Too many hard swings from that puppy certainly leaves some blue.. black.. and purple marks. I cannot imagine if the buckle ever made contact…. Ouch is all I have to say. BUT still a wonderful spanking tool.

Another implement I have not had the pleasure of trying on for size is.. the every popular ping pong paddle. I imagine it has quite the thuddy kind of feel to it… I have yet to see… hopefully one day I will get the chance… (I need to show Ben this post hehe).

Finding a picture for this next item… brought about an unexpected recation from me… I practically drooled (not really haha). The leather strap. Does that not look fantastic? Oh man.. words escape me right now… my mind is off in another little world… moving on…

Paddles are next up… when I think of paddles.. I think of the days when they still paddled children in school. I still remember sitting in my desk in class knowing some boy that got escorted out of the room was getting two swats. The idea always terrified me… and so I was always a good girl. Thinking about it now… not really the same reaction.

Then… the crop. Another thing I want to try.. and have wanted to try for some time. I can imagine this is a versitile item.. one that can be used for more than spanking someone’s ass. But I dont know that from person experience… yet.

And well.. the tried and true… hand. One cannot rule out the intimacy that is brought by spanking someone with a bare hand. There is just something about skin on skin contact that makes me all warm and tingly.

I’m sure I could go on and on about the different items someone could use to spank another person…. lots of which are unconventional. That is one of the cool things about spanking… you can go anywhere the imagination can take you… and that my friends, is never a bad thing.

>Saturday night.

We had went to bed… I think it was eleven or even midnight… I’m not sure anymore. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get laid… as it seems I never do on Saturdays because Ben works twelve hours that day.

He was quiet.. but would let out these sighs.. the type of sigh that says something is bugging you. I inquired… twice. Finally he said what was on his mind. I had done something that upset him… I listened as he talked… telling me his thoughts on the matter.

I laid against his chest hearing his words.. feeling my eyes fill with tears. I felt terribly that I had hurt him… it was all very stupid of me. Not that I felt bad.. but that I had done it.

After talking about it… he wasn’t mad anymore… he wasn’t hurt anymore… but that really didn’t MAKE me feel any better. We laid there together… just being next to each other. As we did Ben stroked my back- gently at first then with a bit of passion behind it.

Before long.. petting turned into full blown making out and touching.. his knee between my legs grinding against my pussy. Words poured from his lips… asking things about what had happened and such.

I answered… only to feel his hands slip around my neck. He squeezed hard.. and I could feel the wetness grow between my legs.

For the next little bit.. it was kinda a blur… all I remember is being taken to the living room to log onto the net.. to tell someone what I done. I was supposed to ride Ben as I typed… not so fun.

From there he asked if we were ok.. if I was ok with it. I really didn’t want to tell anyone what happened… I wanted to keep it between us. He said he understood… and we started to watch porn instead.

We watched for a bit.. then I turned to him and asked him to punish me… because deep down I knew I needed to be. He obliged me.

In the process… he sent me into our room a few times. I retrieved a vibrator… nipple clamps…. our flogger.. lube… my collar… and a towel. He had me suck his cock over and over… in between fucking him with a vibrator in my pussy or against my clit. I squirted three different times doing this.

The nipple clamps went on… and he’d pull them… hurting me like I cannot describe. Sometimes they’d pop off and he’d reattach them… threatening to attach them to my clit. He even had me hold the chain my teeth.

He had me get on my knees with my vibrator in my pussy while I sucked him off. Every time I’d squeeze it out… he’d make me go clean it… then come back… fucking my face even harder for making him wait.

He then had me lube up my ass and finger it while I sucked him.. it was all very intense… and very surreal.

Finally he was ready to fuck me in the ass.. a thing he had been threatening all along. He wanted to flog me first though. The stings were harsh… no warm ups for Sierra. I came close to crying several times… but I was tough and didn’t. He whipped me over and over… intense, harsh blows that almost knocked the wind out of me.

He stopped.. and I felt the head of his cock press against my ass. I was leaned over the couch and tried hard to relax knowing that if I didn’t… he would end up hurting me (something neither of us wanted).

He slow inched in till he was deep inside me. It hurt… but I stayed calm. I reached down and started rubbing my clit trying to take away from some of the feelings of pain as he started to pound my ass.

While he fucked my ass he’d occaisioanlly flog my back making me tense a little. I kept at my clit though… trying to stay focused… hoping he’d cum soon. I didn’t have to wait long.. before I knew it he let his load go, filling my ass with his reward.

I was spent to say the least… but I felt better… as did he.

>Porn does a body good

>We were sitting on the couch watching stuff from the internet on the tv which we regularly do. I had stripped down to nothing hour or so before… and so I was just sitting there in all my glory. The internet was messing up for some reason (or maybe it was just the site) and so Ben was fiddling with it. I laid back on the couch behind him. He turned his head and said he thought we should just watch some porn instead.

Of course.. my answer was yes… always being up for a good time. He told me to find something for us to watch. I found a site we use and started browsing. I came across one of a dominatrix and a sub. She cuffed her to a cross and was whipping her… it was very motivational.

I leaned back against Ben whose hand wandered south brushing my clit with his fingers. All this did was show him how wet I already was… why? Who knows… probably the thought of being naked while he was clothed.

He rubbed my clit then wrapped his other arm around and pinched my nipple. As he did so.. I reached back and stroked his cock. Before I knew it.. all the stimulation took me away and the eighteen minute clip was done.

Ben ordered me to find another. As I looked he pinched my nipples keeping me distracted. I found another and this time he had me suck his cock. I had this strange rush knowing that he was almost using me to pleasure himself. I sucked dilegently as he watched the guy on the screen spank a chick on her stomach and tied up.

I could hear the smacks from the clip.. and it turned me on so much.. words cannot describe. Ben decided he wanted to spank me too at this point… and did so opposite to the smacks on tv… it was interesting to say the least.

It wasn’t long before my ass began to feel the warmth of the spankings… but it just made me want more. This wasn’t Ben’s plan just yet. He told me to go get two of my toys and to tie my hair up. As I got up.. he tugged on my hip. I came back a little and positioned myself on his lap… burying his dick into my pussy. I bounced up and down a handful of times then he pushed me off to do as I was commanded.

I got up and pulled my hair into a ponytail and then went into our room and retrived two vibrators… one large one and one small one. When I came back into the living room he told me to lay down on my stomach and suck him again.. I did as I was told.

I heard the big vibrator come on… and then felt it against my pussy lips. I arched my back sticking my ass out for him… with that he easily slid the toy into my hungry cunt. Next I felt the other toy slide in beside it. I continued to suck his cock as he did.

After fucking me with the toys.. he pulled the small one out and wedged it into my ass. I felt as though I’d cum the moment he slid it in.. and it took all of myself not to lose it. By now the last clip had stopped yet I did not seem to notice. I really don’t think Ben did either by then. He was too busy fucking me with my toys and spanking me to notice.

After a while of that he decided he was ready to fuck me. He had me get up… and ride him… I slid down on his cock again… bouncing up and down. He told me to rub my clit.. with I did… and instantly came all over him.

Once the shudders of my orgasm stopped we got up… I went to my knees and sucked my cum off his dick. He told me to not be too aggressive.. he didn’t want to cum just yet. So I went easy on him.. even if I wanted to suck him like there was no tomorrow.

After a few minutes he pulled me to my feet and I bent over the arm of the couch. He grabbed my ass and slammed into my pussy. I pushed back against him.. fucking him slowly. I think he was tired of waiting though… he told me he was going to fuck me hard… which I knew meant only one thing.. he was ready to cum.

He pounded away at me… as I screamed from pleasure… then let out his load into my eager cunt… sigh.. I love when he cums in me. I never get tired of it.

>Sierra wants a new toy!

>In the realm of wanting to push myself.. in wanting to see how much I can take and try new things… I’ve decided I want a new toy! I want to try out a cane. Now this scares and intrigues the hell out of me… but I really, really want to try it. I want to feel the sting of it against my ass and legs…. I want to see the lovely red whelps left on my skin when Ben is done with is assault on my flesh. Just the very thought of it makes me moist.

When Ben got home tonight we went and took a shower. I mentioned to him that the next toy we get I wanted it to be a cane. He asked me if I was sure about that.. and I said yeah. His words- “Ok, just remember YOU asked for it”. I think I got a little nervous at the sound of that (haha).

I told him just to start out slow.. and we will work ourselves up to full blown caning. After that, he climbed out of the shower and leaned in to kiss me. Me, being the feisty girl that I am.. didn’t kiss him. He said for me to kiss him.. but I still didn’t.

This is when he got inpatient… grabbed my hair.. and told me to kiss him. I felt a twinge in my cunt. Again, I didn’t kiss him. This time.. he pulled harder and put his hands around my throat. I kissed him.. deeply and passionately. I could feel the air slipping from my body as I kissed him… so helpless in his arms… so lusting after him.

Our kiss lasted for a while before I couldn’t breathe anymore and pulled away. Ben stepped back into the shower…. pulled me to the bottom of the tub and shoving his cock down my throat. Oh how I love when he does this.

He face fucked me…. holding my hair tight in his fist. I was barely able to breathe… and he kept pounding away. Then suddenly he slammed deep in my throat with my nose buried in his groin cutting off my air. I could feel my eyes tearing up… and my mouth salivate.

When I couldn’t breathe again… I jerked about trying to get away. He released me… I gasped for air for a few seconds for him to slam back down my throat.

This went on for a bit.. until he wrapped his hand around my throat and weaved his fingers through my hair… and pulled me to my feet. He squeezed hard… and tried to keep breathing. Words spilled out of his mouth.. asking me if I wanted him to whip me… and when I said yes… he asked now… I of course said yes.

Then he let go.. and left the shower. I stayed in for a few more minutes.. getting my footing. When I turned the water off and opened the curtain.. he was standing there in front of the sink. I started to wring my hair out and got half way down when he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out and onto my knees.

I took him deep in my mouth.. working diligently as I sucked his cock. He stood still as I worked him… his hands still in my hair… holding me close enough without letting me go. After a few moments.. he pulled away… taking me by the hair still and walked out of the bathroom… still dripping with water.

He pulled me into the bedroom and yanked the blankets off the bed. Again… on my knees he fucked my face. He was relentless.. shoving his cock down my throat. I was starting to get cold.. feeling the water roll down my naked body.

When he was done with me he got me on the bed bent over. He went for the flogger and I winced a bit. I knew that what was about to happen.. would hurt.. a lot.

The first it shot through my body… and hurt like hell. I cried out.. and he hit again… and again. Each time was just as painful and I gasped for air each time. He kept whipping me and whipping me… each time I cried out… and all he did was mock me by laughing and being pleased with himself.

He alternated between fucking me and whipping me for a while. Sometimes doing both. He’d go around and have me suck his cock as well… switching things up. He climbed off the bed and behind me again… and nothing.

Then he told me what he had…. a yellow switch like thing. It’s part of a cat toy we have… its like ten inches long and tapered. I think… he wanted to simulate what the sting of a cane could feel like. Suddenly I felt it hit my skin… and it stung.. BAD.

He did this over and over again.. in different spots… I wanted to cry. The last blow was just below my ass.. in the very tender skin. It took my breath away.

After he was done with that.. he slammed back into my dripping wet pussy. He slid in and out a few times and told me to climb onto the bed on my back. He slid his cock down deep into my mouth and told me to spread my legs. He told me he was going to whip my pussy. This is where he began toying with me.

He ran the flogger over my cleaned shaved pussy.. teasing me… he whipped my thighs softly… moving up to my breasts… whipping those. He asked me if I was ready… I was. Seconds passed, yet they seemed like hours… and he dealt the blow. It was harsh.. and it shot through my body like lightening. I kept sucking his cock though.. never stopping.

He ordered me to get back in the position I was in. I crawled back to where I was. He climbed in behind me.. and slid inside of me. He started fucking me hard… with a mission. He flogged me over and over… till I felt his body tense… and felt his cum fill me.

So yeah.. a hot time was had… and I think he likes the idea of a cane.. what do you think?

>solo

>I had spent the afternoon reading blogs… random ones… ones about lurid sexual moments… moments that stirred passion inside of me. I felt the familiar twinge between my legs… a dull throb… of lust and want. I couldn’t take the torture any longer.

To my bed I went (my preferred masturbation spot.. just because I can stretch out). The room was barely illuminated.. just enough that I could still see. I stripped off what little clothes I had on till I was completely naked then laid down. My legs spread and my wanton fingers went straight for my clit.

I started rubbing slowly… then dove slowly into my cunt, wetting my fingers. Back up to my clit I went… working it gently… be intently. I closed my eyes.. imagining all sorts of things… trying to find the right image.. the right set up to give me the intended result.

Finally I landed on one…

We are in a vintage hotel room… dark colors… heavy drapes… rich textures… very.. Victorian. Ben is in an arm chair… dressed. He has his elbows on the arms with his hands joined in front of him… clasped… looking intent. He’s kind of slumped down a bit… casual.

On the bed.. my legs are spread.. high in the air. My fingers are on my pussy rubbing it.. looking up at my partner… speaking filthy, slutty things to him. It’s an old fuck buddy of mine.. the one that introduced me to bondage.

I glance over at Ben… still sitting there… watching us… then back up to this man who is about to fuck me. I beg for him to slide his cock in my ass.. and in seconds I am filled. He fucks me slowly at first but is soon pounding me.

I feel my orgasm coming… building up to a sweet blissful end. I slid my vibrator into my drenched pussy and turn it on.. fucking myself. I keep rubbing my pussy.. playing images over and over in my head. I am on the verge… I feel it… I keep my steady pace… and finally… a powerful orgasm rushes over me. I cry out in pleasure as waves engulf my body.

Once is subsides… I leave my vibrator inside of me… letting me come down easily. My body relaxes… eyes still shut in a quiet content world.

>life happens

>As you can probably tell… I haven’t blogged in what seems like forever. So much has been going on that I just got taken away with it all… and when I’d think of blogging.. there were just other things I wanted to do instead… it just seemed kind of like a chore. I either couldn’t think of anything to write about or if I did have something to talk about… I just did not feel like it.

SO. Here I am…. lets see if we can get back up to par.

1. We did in fact get our new floggers… and to say the least, love them! That is a whole completely different post that I intend on making though. I will say that I like the leather one better than the suede… but like them both.

2. Work has been crazy busy keeping me stressed indeed.

3. Summer also has been keeping me from the computer… living in the Northwest, you have to take advantage of the sunny warm weather for the few months that it’s around.

4. Vacation is right around the corner (thank goodness!). We’re going to the coast for a few days and staying in a beach house. I can hardly wait!

5. Lets see… bizarre things that have taken place…

Yesterday morning I was sleeping… I was kind of half asleep waiting for the alarm to go off. Ben was already up and getting ready for work as he has to leave just a few minutes before me. I heard this loud crash sound and bolted out of bed to look out the window.

We live almost on the corner of an intersection where several wrecks have happened so I just assumed that was the case… it still scared the crap out of me. Anyway, I looked out the window to see a late 80’s model Honda Civic turning right and speeding off.

I called out to Ben asking what that noise was.. he responded by telling me that the blue Civic had just drove through our front yard…. and through our chain link fence! I threw my robe on and we headed out the front door to see what was up. The neighbor across the road told us what he saw and that he was calling the cops.

This car had to have been booking ass… seriously… it took out two sides of the fence leaving behind pieces of the car. The cops came and took the pieces (a side mirror, the undercarriage, and a wind shield wiper) and our statement. I doubt anything will come of it.

It was just strange ya know? Just one of those random things.. that you are thankful that no one was hurt.. and that nothing was so damaged it could not be fixed.

Anyways… that is all I can think of right now. I will be sure to post a full story about my first flogging experience… needless to say.. it was nothing short of amazing.

>getting 2 new toys!!

>Sooo a friend of mine, whom also is an ex, makes leather toys. Any type of adult toy you can think of that is made or can be made of leather, he makes. He’s told me about them many times before but I guess I never thought about actually getting him to make us something. He finally asked me if I was ever going to buy anything from him lol. And so.. we decided now is just as good of a time as any.

He showed us through cam the things he has and what he thought I would like. He showed me quite a few floggers.. which I’ve never experienced before. We finally decided on two… one with blue suede and one with red leather. He finished them up last night and showed me today… I’m so excited. He did a great job. I can’t wait for Ben to try those babies out on me hehe.

We should have them by next weekend… so here’s to hoping that I have a great weekend ahead of me then! It will be a new experience for the both of us for sure. One I’m sure we will both enjoy.

Though, come to think of it… the story of my friend is an interesting on…. so I think I will share.

Ryan and I met when I was 18. We dated for a very short time… like maybe two months. I liked him, but knew that I wasn’t into him the way I should be. He’s a good down home type guy… a self proclaimed redneck. Just not my type really. I did like spending time with him though… I knew we made better friends pretty much from the get go. But, we tried.

Little did I know that he was very much in love with me… and planning to propose to me. He was busy saving up money to buy the “the ring I deserved” and getting a place so we could live together. This was all done without my knowing. I broke up with him before he could tell me or ask me anything and then shortly after starting dating someone else whom I would spend almost five miserable years with.

We remained friends…. and I still was pretty in the dark about how heartbroken I left him. He did tell me several months after we broke up all the stuff that he had planned. I felt bad and relieved at the same time… I would have never wanted to tell him no… even though I would have.

So several years passed.. we still talked off and on. He decided to drop a bomb on me… something I had never heard of… and it would take me years to really wrap my brain around and truly understand. He told me that he was part of the lifestyle.. that he was a Dom. I thought I understood somewhat but asked a lot of stuff… trying to really grasp it… I never did… not until here recently.

Not too long after that (I think I was 21 or very close to it) we were talking online. I asked him if he noticed that we weren’t as close as we used to be. He freaked out on me… telling me that I wasn’t the center of the world… that I was but that I wasn’t anymore. He ripped me a new asshole so to speak and then went silent.

For three years I didn’t hear a word from him. At first I was really hurt, but figured I deserved it after ripping his heart out. I came to peace with it and moved on. If he didn’t want to be part of my life.. then so be it. That is his choice.

Out of the blue in 2006 he messages me online. I was floored. After all that time, he decided he could talk to me again. It took him all that time to get over me he told me… but that he was now and that we could once more be friends. It was really nice to be able to talk with him again. From then.. we have stayed in contact… talking every several weeks or so.

He is married now. His wife is his slave… and he has a girlfriend. They are poly… or should I say HE is poly? I’m not sure how that works. All I know is… I could never share. He keeps asking me to come play with him.. and of course I laugh and tell him that he knows I can’t. Besides, I think even if I were single.. I wouldn’t because he is WAY more hardcore than me. I think he would beat my ass into the ground lol.

So that’s the story of Ryan. I think perhaps it is a bit odd that my ex is making toys for us… but hey, I guess there are odder things in this world, right?