Tag Archive: sex


a day in the life of…

So we’ve been in our new place for three weeks now.  I love the new place… it looks awesome and feels like home.  I’ve been at my new place of work almost three weeks now… and it’s been… an experience.  It’s been a bumpy ride so far.

I have been working my butt off to be honest… and have more work than I can handle by myself.  I running from the moment I show up.  It’s really stressful.  Not to mention that I get split days off… so it seems like I never have any down time.  I am tired all the time.  This, of course, interferes with home.  I go and go…. and I feel like I’m about to drop around 8 at night.  I just have no time.

So this means not a lot of time for play…. and really our dynamic has kind of fallen to the side.  We keep trying to restart… it’s just not happening.  Something always comes up… work… or being sick… etc…. and honestly, it’s frustrating.  I think in the last three weeks we’ve had sex three times.  It’s just really crappy.  I miss it… but I’m not going nuts over it like I normally would. That is cause I am overworked… and my brain is always on the go.

Part of me feels like… I just don’t want to go back to our dynamic.  I don’t see how I have time to all the extra stuff that entails.  When will I have time for that? I just don’t know.  I want to go back to playtime as well… but I fell ho hum about that too.  Deep down I miss it… but I don’t have that driving desire to have play time.  I’m sure it will be one of those things that once I do it again, I’ll get that playtime buzz.  Right now… I just don’t feel that way.  I am so worn thin I don’t have much more to give.

I don’t like this feeling.  I don’t like being so tired… and I most certainly don’t like having sex once a week.  I just… ugh!

LOL payment.. in full

So… Sunday has arrived.  After work I swung by home to collect my swats.  All in total… Ben gave 40… counting a last minute one that came in after the deadline.  I didn’t think it was fair… but hey… it was still fun.  I’d like to thank everyone that stopped by and a special thank you for the ones who left comments.

I received 5 swats for each of the following commenters…

lil

Melody aka Rd

Petunia

Todd and Suzy at A.S.S

Pink

laylad

and last but not least… Mike

When I got home.. Ben picked out four different implements (the crop, cane, and two different spatulas that take my breath away).  The first set of twenty he gave in five swat increments… mixed with a vigorous fucking.  It was nice to have the pain broken up with a lot of pleasure.  The last twenty went two sets of ten.

It was fun… and I ended up with a very warm ass.  So a big, big thank you for the happy little high I got from forty very hard spankings.  As promised… below is proof of payment.  🙂  Thanks again to those of you who delurked and said hello!

Ben took over looking for porn.. as I was unsuccessful.  The peeled ginger root in the glass of water was taunting me.. the idea that it was going to be in my ass shortly was something I tired hard not to think about.  He quickly redirected my attention to his cock.  I set to work on it… lavishing it with all the focus I could muster.  No matter what, the ginger was still there in the back of my mind.  I didn’t want this to happen… but when it came down to it, that didn’t matter.  He had decided… and I would comply.. because that is the decision I made a long time ago.

Ben went through a few clips of porn before he settled on one that seemed it interest him.  I could feel how interested he was against my tongue.  I do so love when he is super turned on… it makes me feel really good.  He let me work him over for a while before he decided he wanted to warm my ass.  He asked if I was ready for some pain… as always.. I was.

I turned around in front of him… not knowing which implement he would choose.  He had me lay out the crop and cane.. so either were a real possibility.  I waited with bated breath.  Before I knew it.. I felt the first sting of the crop.  It always cuts through me… straight to my core.  I clenched my ass and yelped.  It didn’t take him long to get into a good stride.  I could feel the heat in my ass radiating off my skin.  I could feel the wetness grow between my thighs.

At some point he switched it up… throwing the cane in the mix.  The good thing about the cane is I manage that pain much better than the crop.  There is a sting.. but I can breathe through it.. where the crop I struggle with.  So this switch was very much welcome.  Minutes passed with him beating my ass… my cries cutting through the house.  And then another change… the beating stopped.  I felt him get behind me.. and slid his cock deep into my very needy cunt.

I sighed with pleasure from being filled.  I needed it.. to break up the pain.  A little bit of pleasure always helps with that.  His hands dug into my hips… pulling me back into him.  I could certainly get used to this reprieve… enjoying each minute that passed.  Only this wouldn’t last.  He wanted to beat me some more… to make my ass feel what he had to give.

Another round of the cane and crop bombarded my back side.  At some point there was no thought of what lay ahead, but just living in the moment… taking in the pain.  Time passed… and before I knew it, it was time.  He asked if I was ready… and I most certainly was not.  He took it out of the water… and pressed it against my ass.  I tried so hard to relax… being tense was only going to make it worse.

He slowly worked it in… and I could feel the foreign object invading me.  There was a spot on the top that felt particularly rough.  I tried to tough it out… maybe it was just me needing to relax.  As he moved it in and out a bit, I knew this wasn’t the case and told him it hurt in a way it wasn’t supposed to.  Ben told me to relax and removed it.  I could already feel the beginning stages of the warmth it brought.

He shaved it down a little in the spot that wasn’t right and then reinserted it.  Ben made sure it was better before proceeding.  It felt a lot smoother… as far as better, well that is all relative isn’t it?  The burn was picking up… I had to focus.. and breathe.  I kept my eyes shut… trying to stay on top of it because if I lost control… it’d be all over with.  I told myself I could do this.  I knew I could.

Then… Ben broke out the cane again.  I could feel my heart sink.  My heart raced and my ass burned.  This wasn’t pleasant… and I didn’t like it.. at all.  But still.. I tried to stay focused as each stroke made contact with my very red ass.  I don’t know how much time passed.  It ceased to exist.  All that was there was us…  and that damn ginger in my ass.

Somewhere in there.. the ginger had leaked… and rolled down to make my pussy lips burn.  It was all so much to handle…. and yet it wasn’t over.  When Ben was satisfied I’d taken enough from the cane… he got behind me.  I knew what was coming.  We had talked about it long ago… fantasized about it… dreaded it. His cock plunged deep inside of my pussy…and this time.. there was no pleasure.  I couldn’t feel any pleasure through the burning.  It was non-existent.  He asked me if that was good… and I believe I said no.  I can’t really remember… I was in survival mode.

Time stopped.  I whined.. and tried hard to breathe.. all the while he was thoroughly enjoying himself.  My brain just kept replaying.. let this just end.. please cum.. please cum.  Before long I was questioning if I could survive this.  I didn’t know anymore… even if I was determined.  Please cum.  It burned so intensely.  My ass so full… my cunt so full.  If only I could be enjoying this.  Please cum.  So close to tears… just focus… I can do this.  Please, please, PLEASE cum.  I may die.  And then… he came.

Still I found no pleasure.. I was in agony.  Once his spasms were complete.. he pulled out… then removed the ginger carefully.  I collapsed.  And if this was possible.. it was worse after he pulled it out.  It seems all the juice was freed from it’s ginger root dam.  I just wanted it to stop burning.  Luckily.. since the source was gone… the burning slowly started to dissipate.

It would take minutes before I could actually speak.  The burning had cold to just a mild annoyance.  It was a tough experience… just as the first.  I found pleasure in very little… mostly that I had survived it without begging out of it.  I felt pretty proud of myself.  It was a major accomplishment in my eyes.  But damn, my poor ass.

I feel

I love the way it feels… crawling into bed next to him each night.   I love the way his body keeps me warm when we are cuddled up on a cool night.  I love the way our feet always touch when we lay in bed… the simple way we connect and how it makes me feel.

I love the way we walk next to each other when we go out.  I love the way our arms linked together makes me feel… how much I feel like his.  I love how close we feel when we talk softly.. and make each other laugh walking down the sidewalk like we are the only ones walking down the road.

I love how after sex… we always hug and kiss before we clean up.  I love the floaty feeling I have as we connect in such an amazing way… the way his lips feel against mine.  I love wrapping my arms around him… sliding my fingers down the middle of his back.

I love the way he looks at me… the way his eyes sparkle.  I love the way he sees me.. like I am this amazing person…. and I want to be that for him.  I love the way he rounds the corner when he comes home work and sees me waiting on him… the way his eyes light up.  What could be better than that? To know he is just happy to see me.

I love the way it feels to wake up to him in the mornings.  I love the way it feels to reach out and know he’s next to me.  I love the way it feels to start off my day next to him.. like I’m ready to take on the world.  I love when that lazy morning turns into sleepy sex… and even more so when we fall back asleep after.

Simply put… I just love him.

becoming what he wants

I’ve always seen the types of submissives that their Dom or Master molds them into their idea of what a good submissive or slave is.  I think this words really well for some people, but for Ben and I, well I always felt we wanted pretty much the same thing… desired the same thing.  So in this.. I didn’t really feel like he had molded me into anything other than what I’ve always been.

Maybe this logic is flawed.  I think we are all a certain way… and the people in our lives that we spend the most time with influence us.  I think its naive to think that we are unchanged by others to a point.  Maybe I’m just talking out of my ass here.  It all makes sense in my head, I promise!

So.. my point.  It occurred to me the other night… that in my head I’d always felt like I evolved into things.  In some ways I have on my own.. but the things about me that have evolved were because of others.  Case in point… my love of anal sex.

Anal was always something I just did… not really enjoyed so much.  I was willing though.. as long as it wasn’t often.  It hurts!  Even when Ben and I first got together… it wasn’t really something I sought after.  I knew how much he loved it though… and slowly I’d make mention of it because deep down I just wanted to make him happy and satisfied.  It was something he wanted a lot.. and I was willing to make some strides in doing it more often.   It still wasn’t something we did often, which I often wondered why, even after I suggested we do it more often.

Over the years it became more often… and then when we started down this path, it became something very common.  It was something he conditioned my ass for.. so that it wouldn’t hurt so bad.  I thought for sure it would take a while to do that… but strangely enough… it happened relatively quickly.  I started actually really enjoying it.  I’d have the most amazing orgasms when we had anal…. it was like I had fought it mentally so long, not knowing the wonders that in store.  I think it was then that the transformation took place, from something that I just did to something I craved.

Naturally, Ben is thrilled that I love it so much.  I’d never have thought I would.  It’s crazy the things you can condition yourself to do and endure… and actually love.  This was something he pushed for… even if I openly embraced it… but it was what he wanted.  And in this… I became what he wanted.  He wanted a woman that would openly serve him in anyway his heart (cock?) desired… and that meant anal whenever he wants.  So here I am… without realizing it… his vision.  Who’d have known?

I love being his.. and have no shame in saying I’ve changed because of him.  I don’t see it at all as a bad thing.. but a good one.  It makes us both happier.. how could it be negative?  I know I’m not a big fan of change but sometimes, its a very good thing.

where did THAT come from?

I follow many blogs.. as well as many photo blogs on tumbler.  I find a great deal of many hot pictures that I forward Ben’s way.  He brags to the guys at work about how his wife sends him porn… every day.   I love finding things that speak to me… and that I know will speak to him.  One day a couple weeks ago I was going through said blogs… and stumbled across a picture that for the life of me, I cannot find again.  So I’ll try my best to describe the picture I found.

In the image there was a guy in a suit smoking a cigarette… which his woman kneeling at his side… arms extended holding an ash tray.  I stopped and stared at this image for several minutes.  I could feel a familiar twinge in my groin… and I was shocked by this.  I am not a smoker… and I am not a fan of smoking.  When I met Ben, he smoked.. and quit for me.  All on his own.. simply because he knew how much I hated it.  He occasionally has cigar at poker parties we have or in Vegas.  He always brushes his teeth when he is done so I don’t have to deal with what is left on his breath.  It’s a nice give and take for both of us I think.

So why was this image calling to me?  I saved it and sent it to Ben telling him about how it had oddly turned me on… and that I wanted to do this.  It wasn’t about the smoking… it was about serving him in any and every way possible.  It was about the power of him smoking when he wants… in front of me…. and me waiting on him to catch the ashes he would discard.

When he wrote back he said it would indeed be hot but wouldn’t want the house to smell like that.  Some how we ran with the idea… about being in the garage… him smoking a cigar… me sucking his cock while he did so.  It made me tingle all over… even if I was still shocked by it.  It all played out in my head and a longing for it grew.  So much of me wants to serve him in so many ways… from mundane to unorthodox.   Trying new things… serving him in those ways, titillates me.

I think it speaks volumes about my submission to him.. and how deep it has gone.  Will this little fantasy ever come to bear fruit?   And if it did, would it be as hot as I imagine it?  I have no idea.  Either way.. it is fun to think about… and still makes me wet between my thighs.

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Gosh, where to start?  I think there are a lot of worthy misconceptions about the kink community at large that I could cover here.  I think I’m going to go with one that is close to home.  I think a lot of people feel like that being kinky makes you a bad parent.  This is just ridiculous!

The average kinky parent keeps their kink separate from their child or children.  Sex has no place in a kid’s world.  It is an adult thing… and so any responsible adult doesn’t bring up their sex life with their kids, let alone their kink.   I don’t see why anyone can’t see how that this is one in the same thing.  If being kinky makes you a bad parent, then so would having sex.  I can’t see the average person giving up sex.

There is a time and place for everything.  Obviously some kinks are hard to do when kids are asleep.. which isn’t so for vanilla sex (unless you have a child that doesn’t like to stay in their own bed!), but it something you can work around.  Kinky parents make time to take care of their children and themselves.  Taking care of yourself as a parent is important because its easy to get focused on the kids.  A vanilla mom takes time out to get a pedicure or lunch with friends.  A kinky dad takes time out to get a spanking.  You get the generalizations.  🙂  The point is… it doesn’t make you a bad person or parent to be kinky.  Everyone has the right to take care of themselves as long as they are doing it responsibly.

People are complex… vanilla or kinky.  Liking getting whipped doesn’t change being a good parent… it doesn’t change that you’re there to tuck them in at night, help with homework, or listen to any problem they have.  It is actually possible to do both.  Go figure.

two for Tuesday

It was Ben morning to take the kiddo to school.  I was left in bed to snooze and keep the sheets warm.  When he got back he returned to our bed and cuddled up to me.  I smiled to myself in my groggy state… half awake before sighing to myself and attempting to fall back asleep.  I’m not sure if minutes passed or closer to thirty minutes, but I felt has hand glide over my ass and going straight to between my legs.

His fingers probed till they slid into my cunt with little to no effort.  I stayed on my stomach accepting his fingers thrusting into me… listening to the sound of my cunt growing wetter.  He didn’t do this long… I imagine he only did it to make sure that I was prepared to accept what was coming.

He pulled his fingers out… then mounted me… sliding his cock deep inside with a moan of approval from me.  He pumped away immediately.  His hands propped his body weight up on my ass before he moved one to my back, effectively pinning me down.  I loved the feel of his hands on me… the weight of him pressing me down.

This was no act of fucking to please me… but an act of pleasing himself.  If I got pleasure through it… then okay, but that was not what was propelling him.  He fucked me hard… my moaning getting louder as he got closer to cumming.  He thrusted into me over and over… me imagining the look on his face…. the look of lust and delight.  Shortly after he was dumping his cum inside of me and climbing off me.  And like that he was done and cuddling back up to me.  I was rode hard and put away wet.

We slept a while longer, me getting up before him.  I wasn’t up long before he called out to me.  I rejoined him in bed to cuddle some more.  I love mornings like these… where we have no purpose for the day but to just be together.  Like earlier, I was on my stomach.  He was spooning me from behind.  Out of no where he decided he wanted me once more…. not completely sated from before.  He remounted me.. sliding his cock back into my cunt.  This time he was feeling sadistic.

He squeezed my ass hard… then would smack it… all the while fucking me…. pinning me down again.  He paused his thrusting and told me to fuck his cock.  I obeyed.. pushing my body back into him all the while he hurt me.  I cried out in pain in pleasure.. a strange mixture that drove me crazy.  He went back and forth… between me fucking him and him running the show before he told me to turn around and suck his cock.

I turned and plunged my mouth down on his cock.  I apparently wasn’t doing it as he wished, because he grabbed my head and fucked it vigorously.  I choked and gagged but held on like a champ.  I gasped for air each moment I got a chance… and suddenly he was done with my face.  Again, he told me to turn around so another round of abuse and fucking began.

He wet his cock with my cunt… and pulled out.  He pressed against my ass… but at a weird angle.  I moved a little allowing him better entry to my ass… and so he slipped in.  He pushed deeper and deeper till he hit the hilt using only my wetness to fuck my asshole.  My ass is well trained, but it always hurts.  I like it.. strangely enough.  Not in the way that I’m moaning with pleasure… but in the way I know I’m serving him…. and know how much he loves it.  It turns me on in a different way…. I knew that I’d be dripping wet when he was done.

His hands returned to my back…. his rhythm not that of urgency… but that of riding something that feels good and wanting to make it last.  In my head I wanted him to take what he wanted… however long it took…. and other moments I was in pain and just really wanted him to cum.  Mostly I just wanted him to use his slave.  I got something different out of it… a satisfaction that you can’t have without wanting someone to use you for their pleasure.  All the while I tried to stay calm because tensing would only hurt me more.  I cried out in pain every now and then… when it got too much.  I think he likes knowing it… knowing that I’m hurting for him… and I think that’s part of what put him over the edge.  I could feel his body shake against me… the grunting of his relief… the satisfaction of what he needed.

He slid out of my well used ass and laid back onto the bed.  We laid there for a moment… me savoring what I had given him.  I had this strange mix of pleasure and surrealism.  I love where my head goes when he uses me so roughly… its addictive. A few minutes passed before he pulled me into his arms.  He told me how much I please him… which made me smile.  I love hearing his approval… his praise.  It makes me want to endure anything to hear those words…. to make him happy.  We laid there for a bit before he told me it was shower time.  I so badly wanted to cum.. I could feel how wet I was.  I was afraid to ask… I didn’t want to be denied… but I needed the release… and so I went for it.

He asked me why I deserved to cum.  My answer was that I did as he asked without complaining… which caused him to smirk.  He gave his approval…. I thanked him… then rolled onto my back and reached down to my clit.  I was amazed at how wet I was as I dipped into my cunt to wet my fingers.  His hands laid on me… touching me… pinching my nipples.  Words flowed out of his mouth… driving my urgency to cum.  I am sure only a few minutes passed before I rubbed myself to a earth shattering orgasm.  He sighed with approval… loving the fact that he has control over making my body feel that good.  Yes… I love starting mornings like this.

(30 Days of Kink will resume tomorrow… I needed a break!)

30 Days of Kink-Day 16

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

I think that the biggest thing to me is that so many people think I’m different because I like really rough sex.  Not everyone I’ve encountered understands it, much less embraces it.  The thing is that I really don’t care what people think of me and what I do.  I’m okay with being different.  If everyone was the same, it’d be a really boring world, no?

Oh and let’s not forget that having a kinky side can be a pain.  (Heh).  With vanilla sex, it can happen anytime anywhere (usually privately though).  A lot of the stuff I like to do has to be done when we are alone.  Our play time always happens on the weekend when the kids are away and noise isn’t an issue.  Sometimes I really want a spanking but it has to wait till we have alone time.  It can be frustrating because spankings always help me relieve stress.

Anyways.. this is a short one.. I’m beat.  Too busy.. not enough down time.

Review 2: Amethyst

I got my May toy in the mail almost two weeks ago and have been trying to get a chance to try it out but the opportunity had not came to me.  Seems like everything was getting in the way these couple weeks.  Luckily, a chance presented itself and we went for it.

When my new blue glass toy arrived, it was wrapped inside a red velvet cozy.  I don’t know why, but I love when toys have their own little carrier.  I instantly was thrilled about it… as I love blue.. and what a lovely shade it is.  It’s appropriately named Amethyst. 

This particular toy gloats that it is a g-spot dildo… but we had other plans for it.  I am sure at some point we will try it as such but we decided to be adventurous and use it in a way that we both enjoy.  And so while Ben was entertaining my pussy… he had me warm the toy with my hands before applying a little lube.  He had given me the impression that he was going to be the one operating it, but decided at the last minute that watching me fuck my ass with this little blue wonder would suit him much better.

And so while he was deep inside of me…. I slid the toy into my ass… and started matching his movements.  It was still slightly cool to touch but not a jarring cold that the glass is normally…. just a perfect sensation.  It wasn’t long before I was begging to cum.  I so love cumming with both my holes filled.  Makes me squirm thinking about it.  To say I enjoyed this toy, is an understatement.  If it works half as good on my g-spot as it did in my ass… I’ve met a new friend.  🙂  I’ll be sure to follow up on that one.

Two big thumbs up for this one!  You can find a variety sex toys to fit any of your needs at Eden Fantasys.  Be sure to check them out!