Tag Archive: who I am


so it’s been a while, huh?

SO I’ve been gone a while huh?  Things have been just crazy in my world.  I’m always so busy and on the go.  Sitting here and thinking about how long it’s been… it’s kind of shocking.  Months… my blog has been dark for months.

I figure I owe my blog an update.

The end of May I decided it was time a change personally.  I have been overweight my whole life.  I can’t ever remember being thin because honestly, I never was.  I always loved who I was but I knew that being heavy was going to lower my quality of life.  I think that turning 30 really changed me in so many ways.  It was like a light bulb went off.  I had tried to lose weight before  and was never able to stick with it.  My will power just wasn’t there.

I woke up one day and decided it was finally time.  I was there mentally and physically to make a change.  So I made a lifestyle change… and stepped up to the plate so to speak.  I had a lofty goal… 70 lbs.  I put my head and heart into it.. and off I went.

 

The first two months I had a bad day every week.  I stuck to my calorie intake but emotionally I would be drained.   I missed eating like everyone in my family… it was so hard.  As time passed… it got easier.  I found that I was starting not to have bad days at all.  In fact I haven’t had a bad day since Father’s Day.  I was probably three months in before I finally felt like it wasn’t a diet but a lifestyle change.  I can’t imagine going back to my old habits. It’s just disgusting to me.

Somewhere along the path I realized I wouldn’t be happy losing 70 lbs and changed my goal weight.  It upped my weight loss to 80 lbs.  I hit my half way point last Sunday.  I am currently down 40 lbs… and couldn’t be happier about it.  It’s weird going shopping for clothes now because I don’t really know where to look.  I will tell you though, with each smaller size… it feels amazing.

Along side my weight loss I have become quite active.  I work out five days a week.  I plan on doing a 10k in the Spring… and hopefully a full marathon by next Fall.  It’s a huge goal but honestly… I am so driven… I know I can do it.  I keep pushing myself further and further and amaze myself with what I am capable of. I feel amazing… I can’t really put it into words how it makes me feel.  I could go on and on about it.  I won’t though.  I will just say, I’m so proud of myself… because I did this.. all of it.  Even if I had support… I made this change all on my own.

And as if that isn’t enough… there is more change in my world.  I have received a promotion at work.  I am now the manager of the bakery I work in.  It’s been a whirlwind and I’ve worked so hard to earn it.  There has been lots of stress along the way but I feel like I’m finally settling into the position.  It’s weird being in charge that much is sure.  I kind of like it.  This doesn’t really surprise me though.  I think that being submissive is only something I like in my relationship.

I tell you, this year has been amazing.  So much in my world is right at the moment.  Of course, the thing that’s fallen to the side is our dynamic.  We both miss it so but have so much on our plate.  Ben has been super busy at work as well.  They had some changes at work and he had to pick up the slack.  He had weeks of sixty hour weeks.  It really drained him.  We just focused on being together when we were and loving each other.  That was what was important.

We are on the other side of this now and have intentions of trying to get back to where we were.  I truly hope we can.  It’s a good place for us to be… and we both know it.  It seems like we have been struggling for so long now with this.  I have to believe we can get back to where we were.  Time will tell.

On the Issac front, he and I have parted ways.  He just doesn’t have the time to devote to our relationship right now.  We hope that at some point this will change and we can reconnect.  It’s sad… and that’s all I want to say about it.
So there you have it… this is my world in a nutshell.  I’m going beautiful places.  I never though turning 30 would be so wonderful.  I feel so alive.  Being away hasn’t been so bad.

 

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5 years and counting

This month marked our five year wedding anniversary.  Originally we had planned to celebrate it in Hawaii… but we moved instead.  When the day came that we had planned to fly there, I was most certainly bummed but as the days passed I was okay with it.  I focused on what we had planned to do.

It took me a while to decide on what we would do. I am the planner and Ben likes to sit back and show up when it’s time.  So all the planning I did was a surprise to him.  I finally decided on going to Seattle.  I booked a great hotel.. called Hotel 1000.  We would spend the weekend after our anniversary there since we had to work on our actual anniversary.

The morning of leaving.. we had some breakfast and headed north.  We made it to Seattle and went straight to the EMP.  They had some great exhibits there (a horror movie tribute, Jimmie Hendrex, and Nirvana).  It was fun to walk around and check out stuff that we both really love… scary movies and music.

From there we headed to the hotel to check in.  This place was top rate all the way.  It was by far the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in…. which says a lot since I am a bit of a hotel snob.  The service was phenomenal.  The room was really comfortable as well…. with a great bed and this awesome tub that fills from the ceiling! 

After we  dropped our stuff off we headed to Pike Place Market.  It’s a must see every time we go.  I love the energy of it.  We wandered around and found a place to have lunch.  It had a great view of the Puget Sound.  We sat by the window and opened it a bit to get some fresh air.  We were so lucky to get such great weather.  The sunshine was sandwiched some rainy days.

We walked around some more before heading back to the hotel to relax.   When we walked in, they had delivered a bottle of sparkling wine and chocolates while were out.  It was a nice touch. We stayed there till dinner.  I drew us a bath with bubbles.  We must have stayed in the tub for a hour.. drinking, chatting, and playing with the rubber duck.  It was sweet… and fun.. and romantic.  I loved every minute of it.

After we got ready and headed to dinner.  The hotel provided us transport in their town car.. which was nice not to have to take a taxi.  I had picked this steak house that I had heard great things about.  We spent two hours there…. and it was a wonderful two hours.  The meal was amazing…. and they had a few nice touches in honor of our anniversary.  They had set out confetti on the table and gave us a delicious chocolate dessert as a congratulations.

The whole day was wonderful.  It was the perfect mix of doing things and relaxing.  It was so nice to escape our everyday life and be together.

I can’t say enough about the time we’ve been together.  I couldn’t think of a better man to be with for all those years.  He has been the best husband, friend, Owner, etc. I could ever have asked for.  I love him more today than I did the day I married him… which is a whole lot.  We’ve had our ups and downs… but we’ve done it together.  We’ve grown together… learned together… loved together.  I know that this will always be the way we take on the world.  It’s just who we are.  We are devoted to one another.. wonderfully devoted.

meeting Issac

When Ben and I started the journey into our open marriage… I had no idea what would await me.  There really was no way of telling what was out there.. what there was to experience.  I did know that I wanted to experience everything that life has to offer… and I wanted to do that with Ben next to me.  Admittedly.. our first experience with being open wasn’t the best it could be.  It ended rather horribly.. so much so we retracted into each other because it was what we needed to do at the time to make things better.

It would take many months for us to try again.  Our original attempt was far fetched in retrospect.  It’s hard enough to make a solid connection with one person, much less two.  I knew that us finding a girlfriend together was futile, and honestly not something I really wanted anymore.  My desires had changed.  I think Ashley made me realize that I like to play with women.. but most certainly don’t like dating them.  It’s just not for me.  And so for that I am thankful I learned that.

So when we decided to take a stab at this again, in a different way… we knew it would be separately.  In the beginning of this go round.. I put up an ad on a major BDSM dating site.  I knew that being with someone vanilla wasn’t an option for me.  Vanilla sex just doesn’t do it for me.. I need that extra edge… and I need someone that’s comfortable with not being the norm.  This was something I had to have.

My criteria was simple.  Someone that was respectful of my marriage, that makes me laugh, that could interact with me every day, could see me once a week, and wasn’t looking for a D/s relationship.  Well maybe that’s not so simple?  I don’t know.  My first two days I was bombarded with so many messages from people ranging from 21 to 61.  A good deal of them either didn’t read my ad or were just too dumb to talk to.  Though there were a few decent ones sprinkled in there.  I would eventually change my ad to put in an age range because lets get realistic here people, I’m 29 and have no interest in a 61 year old man.  Sorry.

I went out on two dates as a result and where as I had fun, I knew there wasn’t anything there to pursue.   And then.. out of the blue, I get this incredible message from this man.  He had such a way with words.. and I was instantly struck by it.  I was speechless to be honest, and that doesn’t happen often.  Next to never.  The only problem was… he was out of my age range by two years.  Suddenly, that didn’t matter at all to me.  I had to know this person.. I could just feel it.  I responded immediately.

We would share messages back and forth for several days… and I was taken by him and his words immediately.  We exchanged phone numbers to text one another less than a week later.  We actually talked on the phone less than a week after the initial contact.  We had this instant connection that was just.. yeah… it was intense… and awesome.  Lots of adjectives.  Time flew with him on the phone.  (Did I mention he is English and has the most wonderful accent? Yes… I love it.).

It wasn’t long before we made plans to meet.  I was pretty attached already… we talked everyday (in fact we’ve talked every day since we met).  For the first time, I was nervous about meeting him.  I didn’t want it to change and the reality is that sometimes its not the same in person.  I had something to lose here.  He knew how nervous I was… as we talk about most everything and don’t hold back.  It’s refreshing.

So the day came we’d meet.. and since we live 2 1/2 hours apart we agreed to meet in the middle.  I got there before him.. and had time to start panic.  I was so scared.  As soon as I saw him though.. and he hugged me.. it was all gone.  There he was.. right in front of me.. and it was exactly the same as it was.  I was so relieved.  We spent nine hours together the first day before we had to go home because we both worked the next day.  It was so hard to leave… for both of us.  I didn’t have a question in my mind that I wanted him in my life.

And so that was the beginning of what has become something special and wonderful with Issac.  He’s become so much a part of my life it’s crazy.  I didn’t know I could be so lucky to find two men that make me feel so intensely… that treat me wonderfully… that.. yeah.  I don’t have words for what I have.  I know it wont always be easy… it won’t always be perfect… but damn.  I am so very happy.  Happy, that’s an understatement.  I am one lucky woman.  Hell yes I am.

It makes me feel a bit selfish at times… that there are people in this world that are single and looking for someone to love them.. and here I have two.  I didn’t know it was possible to love two people so intensely.  No idea at all.  Like I said, I had no idea what I was going to get when we started.  I am so pleasantly surprised.  Sometimes I want to pinch myself because there is no way this isn’t a dream.  I am constantly surprised at what we as people are capable of feeling and doing.  It’s amazing.

randomness

So another week has passed.. and always.. I am shocked it’s time to post something else.  It seems like only four days has passed when it’s always been seven.  I find myself suffering with writers block.. simply cause the things that are going on in our world… I don’t think are blog worthy.  They aren’t related to our dynamic.. at least not directly.  I guess one could argue that if it has anything to do with us, then it’s about our dynamic.

So I guess I can talk about the shaft I got at my job a couple weeks ago… I can talk about the stress it caused and the tears I shed.  At the time I felt like I got a raw deal.  It was retaliation, no doubt… but what I didn’t realize then was it was a blessing in disguise.  Being transferred to a new shop was the best thing that’s actually happened to me at work in a long time.  I didn’t realize how stressed that place was making me.  I didn’t realize how unhappy I was to be there. Suddenly after three days at the new shop, I felt this weight lifted off me.  I was free of it.  It’s true… things really do happen for a reason.  And all along.. Ben was beside me.. seeing me through.. keeping me strong.

I could talk about the changes our house has seen in the last couple months.  I could talk about how Ben and I finally made the step to fully opening our relationship.  Yes.. it’s unorthodox in a Owner/slave relationship.. but it works for us.  Nothing has changed on that front… at all.  He will always own me.  That isn’t likely to change… it’s just how we interact with one another.

Ben has been talking with someone that is special to him.. and I have to say I’m really excited for him.  Things are moving slowly but he’s much more patient than I am.  I hope it works out.. he deserves all the happiness the world has to offer.  It’s funny how opening up things have brought us closer.  All of this has proven to me more than ever that he is my best friend.  It is so bizarre to sit and be able to share things about other people in our lives.  There isn’t any weirdness… and it amazes me that when you open your mind to new things.. you can accomplish anything.  It’s refreshing.

I have met someone as well… his name is Issac.  I don’t know how to describe him that doesn’t sound like gushing.  Simply put… he’s amazing.  He will be around for some time… I don’t know how much face time he will be having on this blog.  He’s around nevertheless.. whether it affects what goes on  here.. I don’t know.  He makes me happy.. that’s all that is important there.  Sometimes I think I’m super lucky… I have such a blessed life.  How did this become my life?

So yeah, I could talk about about all those things.  Both are big events… but none of them feel right to talk about it.  They’re out there now, though.  I don’t think it cured my writers block… but it serves as my weekly post.  🙂 And that my friends is… two birds with one stone!

earning my submission

Before I met Ben… both the long term relationships I had… I wore the pants.  Now looking back, it’s not because I necessarily wanted to be in charge… it was more out of necessity.  Those two men were not men worthy of leading me by any means.  I knew it then.. and definitely know it now.  I may not have looked at it that way at the time but I can see it now.

I was settling then.. for less than what I wanted and needed.  I overcompensated in taking the reigns because I knew that they were too weak to take care of us.  I needed to do it all.. to make sure it was done right because they were unreliable.  Thinking about it makes me sad that I ever did that to myself.  I was too young to realize what I truly needed to be happy.

It wasn’t till years later.. that I found a man worthy of my respect and love.  When Ben and I met and fell in love.. then subsequently moved in together… we were equal partners.  It was what I needed then.  I needed him to be my equal.. and in that I had so much respect for him… to treat me with love, kindness, and respect in return.  It was the first relationship that felt right… and I reveled in the fact that I didn’t need to be his parent like I had been in the past.  I didn’t want another child… I wanted a man.

I don’t think I could have eventually let Ben take charge in our marriage had we not had those beginnings.  He had to earn the right to be the one calling the shots.  I will not kneel before someone who has not earned it.. and he has in so many ways.  I know this is why our dynamic works so well… because we’ve had patience… and built something over many years that is so wondrous.

It makes me wonder how anyone can jump into a D/s relationship not knowing each other.  I don’t think the level of trust and commitment can be given from me without really knowing someone.   I mean, if it works for someone, awesome.. but for me I need to build to something more meaningful and deep.  I know that had we tried this from day one.. it would have failed horribly for us.  I’m glad it happened when it did… right time.. right place sort of thing- kind of like when we met.

Either way.. I am more than happy to be my Owners slave.  It feels right… I don’t question it.  It feels good to not have to control things.. to just be.  I know that at times I have moments where I fall into old ways and try to take over… but he knows how to pull me back to where I need to be.  I am so thankful for him. He is my rock.

impressions

People leave impressions on one another.  No matter how we shape it, we shape each other.

It is impossible to share your life with someone and be unchanged by them.  I know I’ve been changed by Ben.  We’ve molded our lives around each other.  Honestly.. I’d have it no other way.

But what about all the other people that have walked through my life?  How did they aid me in who I am today?

My first girlfriend was my best friend of many years.  It was her that made me realize I was bisexual.  I’m not saying I’d never have discovered that had it not been for her, I’m just saying she was the first girl I was attracted to.. that I had feelings for.  Unfortunately… or maybe fortunately… it lasted only a few months.  I did learn from her that I preferred men much more than women.

My children have changed  me forever.  They make me strive to be a better person.. to have more so that in turn they will.  I don’t think I could really fathom how much they truly affected me.  To try.. would be silly.

My ex… he gave me to ability… the chance to get away from a life that I was unhappy in.  Had it not been for him, I would have never moved to the Northwest… and in the long run would have never met my husband.

The ex after him… before he became a significant other… made me realize that I could be happy- truly happy.  I didn’t have to settle for less than what I wanted…. true happiness was within my reach.  I thought at the time he was my true happiness but I was wrong.  It didn’t mean I loved him any less.  He will always hold a special place in my heart.

These are the major players in my life… that made a difference in my world.  Love them or hate them… I can’t change their roles in my life… and I wouldn’t want to.  They led me down the road to my life today…. next to my Owner.

the roads we take

I was on Facebook last night and an old school friend of mine had posted a link to something I thought was genius! I followed it and read it (linking back to it now made me see that its a family site which is funny since this is the total opposite) and thought it would make for a great blog post.  Basically… its about thinking about (or writing) 100 ways the events in your life has shaped you.  Now I do not have the time to list out the things that the article talks about… so I decided to focus on one and write about it.

I think that out of all the decisions I’ve made in my life… all the things that has happened to me, the one thing that shaped my life the most was moving to Washington.  I was 19… it was the middle of November when my ex and I decided to pack our life up and move.  I was at the end of the worst part of my life thus far… I was dealing with the emotional wreckage of it all.  I hated Alabama… I’d spent my whole life there.  I didn’t feel tied to what was supposed to be home.

All I had there was my Mother (who was the large driving force to get away) and a few close friends.  It wasn’t enough to keep me there by any means.  I needed a fresh start.. some place I could shape myself into who I wanted to be… not who I had become.  And so the decision was easy… my ex wanted to come home to Washington.. and I wanted out.  We packed up our little apartment, the cat, and the kiddo and trekked across the country.  We made it in three days… driving through snow and ice storms.  Looking back.. I wonder why I wasn’t more scared.  I was leaving behind the only life I ever knew… to go some place I’d never been.  Who knew it would turn out to be the best decision I ever made?

This even set in action all sorts of things…. these ripples would become my life…. that would put me smack dab in the middle of right now.  Other than the obvious changes… my road wasn’t apparent then.  I still lived the way I had before… still settled for less than what I wanted.  I had no clue really about my submissive side.  In the back of my head I knew I wanted rough sex.. but it was less than clear.  It would take the course of five years before that came to light.  Its funny how such a major decision can impact world so slowly.

See.. the thing is.. had I not moved, I woudn’t have met my first Dom.  Which makes me wonder if that would have happened at all… would the even still take place even if I lived somewhere else?  I most certainly wouldn’t have met Ben… and that thought… is terrible.  Life is just a string of events isn’t it?  One melts into another and before you know it… you’ve lived your life.  It’s funny to me that one decision can impact the rest of my life so much.  I can’t imagine I would be where I am had I not moved.  I am almost for certain I wouldn’t be in a wonderful relationship that fulfills me.  I could very well still be living a vanilla life… miserable with how things were.  I don’t want to even begin to think about that.

At the end of the day.. I am thankful I had the courage to change my world.  It forever shaped the path my life would take… the road that would lead me to the man I would one day marry… and subsequently be collared by.  We live in a funny little world… I’m just glad that this funny little world makes me every so happy.

I feel… blah

I haven’t felt much like a slave lately.  I know a lot of that has to do with my recent illnesses.  In a way, I feel a bit lost.  Usually I have this burning desire to serve my Owner… to feel that ownership overpowering me… but that desire seems to have become a mere glowing ember.  I know it’s still there underneath all the crap that is going on but I’m having difficulties getting back into the swing of things… back into that thought process I normally have.

I know all relationships have their ups and downs…. people fall in and out of love… and so I know that our dynamic is no different.  Not feeling that desire doesn’t change that I am owned but I want that feeling back.  I want to long for the nights of play…. for waiting on his every whim… for all of it.  What I feel now is exhaustion.  I feel ho hum about everything right now… just getting through the days to get to the next.  I keep waiting to feel normal again… and that seems to be what I’m doing.  Just waiting.

I know it’ll come… it always does.  There’s always that upswing moment and I feel like a breath of fresh air has enveloped me.   I figure if I push myself just a little to encourage that upswing again I will get there sooner.  It’s got to be better than wallowing in my own disappointment.  I wish I could describe my thought process and feelings better.  I’m struggling with trying to convey what’s going on upstairs.  I just don’t feel right.  I know that I want what we have.. that is not the question here.  I don’t know what I need to kick this sort of funk.

Yesterday I talked to a mutual friend of ours.  She had originally met Ben and became my friend along the way because she needed a woman’s advice… a submissive’s advice.  She’s a lovely person and I really enjoy chatting with her about anything.  Anyways… when we met she desired above anything to serve her husband… but he couldn’t really wrap his brain around the idea.  Between Ben and I… we helped foster a change in their relationship.  Ben had was skeptic that he still really understood the gravity of owning his wife but did what he could to help answer any questions he had.

As far as I knew, it was going along quite well.  I would ask from time to time how the D/s was going and she always seemed upbeat about it and such.  I was happy that she had finally got what she had wanted for so long.  Only, I think a lot of it was an illusion.  She asked me yesterday if I ever acted out to get punished in which I said a resounding no.  We talked back and forth for a few about it and it came to light that he still really wasn’t stepping up to the dominant plate.  My heart sank… I felt so terrible for her.  I wanted so badly to hug her tight cause I knew how much her heart was breaking over it.  She doesn’t have any options but to accept the fact she isn’t going to have the lifestyle she wants… as she loves her husband and leaving is not an option.

It made me grateful that I have the relationship I desire… and ashamed at the same thought because in a way I take for granted what we have… how special it is.  I think it makes it harder to feel kind of glum about it too… because not everyone is lucky enough to have what they want.  I’m not really sure if any of this is making any sense… as it’s just one of those rambley kind of posts that is meant to be mental vomit…. to allow for internal discovery.   Does how I am feeling make any sense?  Probably not.  BUT…. it doesn’t make it any less real.  Does it mean I love Ben any less?  Heavens no!  I’m just in a valley right now… trying to put myself back together after being physically and mentally exhausted.  I’m sure I’ll be my old self before I know it.

 

Me… in six words

As people, we use words to communicate… to express ourselves.  It’s easy to know who we are.. but trying to convey that to others can be somewhat difficult.  I know when I sat and thought about who I am.. and the words I’d choose to describe myself, I really had to sit and think about it.  There are a lot of words I’d love to describe myself as but in reality, they didn’t always fit me completely.

So.. when I finally came up with six words that best said who I am… I figured I would expand on them.  Below are what I came up with… and by no means does it encompass me completely.. but it’s a good start.

con·fi·dent/ˈkänfidənt/Adjective

 Feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured
My confidence is one of the things that attracted Ben to me.  I know who I am.. and what I am capable of.  I don’t look to the outside world to define me.  It took me years to become comfortable in my own skin, but it was the life that I lead that caused me to find myself.  I know what I offer to different situations and people… ask me, I’ll tell you. 🙂  I’ve had many people tell me as much.. and it makes me smile every time.  Not everyone has the luxury of it I’m sad to say.  There is a certain comfort I take in knowing what I am capable and what I’m not… in not having to conform to what and who other people think I should be.  Maybe that is why I feel so free being Ben’s slave… because I know it doesn’t matter what other people think.  I am happy with the life I have chosen… and  would not change it for anything.

strong/strôNG/Adjective

Having force of character, will, morality, or intelligence

Since I was about sixteen… I went through a lot of life experiences.. most of them not so pleasant.  Granted, a lot of those situations I got myself into, but they were still not easy.  The thing about tough times I lived through is that I learned from them.  I grew stronger… I chose to be a strong woman that handles what is thrown at her.  It’s not always easy.. but I always do my best to get through things and be better for it on the other side.  I look back on the darker parts of my life and know that because of them, I am who I am today.   Would I have picked those things for myself if given the decision?  Probably not.  But I can’t change those things now… only make the best of what life I have been given.  I am lucky that I met a wonderful man to share my life with… lucky that my life has looked up since then.  I can say that I am the happiest I’ve ever been.  I’ll always be that strong person now… always look deep within myself to help weather the storms that come our way.  The only thing now is… I have my Owner weathering those storms beside me.

pas·sion·ate/ˈpaSHənit/Adjective

Showing or caused by strong feelings or a strong belief
In every way this word describes me.  I am passionate about the things I believe in.. the things I do… and the love I share with my husband.  I feel strongly about a lot of things… and will prattle on about them with deep emotion.    You know what they say… “Live passionately… laugh heartily… love unconditionally”… well that’s me.  No holds barred.  I love deep conversations about things I hold dear to my heart.. about things I don’t understand.  Ben loves how worked up I get over things… it makes him smile.   I love the way he looks at me when I go off on one of my tangents.  I love how he puts up with them… with me.

stub·born/ˈstəbərn/Adjective

Having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, esp. in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so

Oh boy.. yes.. I am a stubborn girl.  I will hold onto things… things that make me upset.  I am not as bad as I once was… I’ve come a long way in moving past my hurt feelings.. but I will always be stubborn.  In some ways it is good… as it keeps me from being a push over, but not all positive things have come from my stubbornness.   I severed ties with my brother years ago when he said some very mean and hurtful things to me when I needed my family the most.  He is ever bit as stubborn as I am and so we’ve been dancing that dance for thirteen years.  I vowed not to talk to him till he apologizes… and of course, he has not.  And so, we are estranged to this day as I am sure we always will be.  No part of me wants to rekindle a relationship with him now… not after all this time.  Is that a good thing? I don’t know honestly.  I can only be who I am… and I make no excuses for that.

plea-ser/ pleas′er/ noun

to be agreeable to; give pleasure to; satisfy

Oh boy am I a pleaser!  I go out of my way to make people comfortable and happy.  I don’t like confrontation at all!  Back in the day.. it made me a bit of a pushover because I would give into what others wanted.  I still do sometimes… but its usually on the things I don’t feel strongly about.  On the home front this is a great trait to have as a slave.  There are times where I simply just don’t get something the way I want it… and so I have to relent.  This isn’t often luckily… Ben and I are very much alike and like things just about the same way.  But those times arise where he wants what he wants… and the pleaser in me wants to give it to him.  I want him to be happy and make things the best I can for him.

o·pen-mind·ed/Adjective

Willing to consider new ideas; unprejudiced

This is a big one for me.  I am so very much a live and let live kind of girl.  If you aren’t hurting anyone (in a bad way), then by all means, carry on.  I think people should have the right to live their life the way they feel happiest.  I may not always understand or agree with someone’s life choices but I will never think poorly of them for it.  After all, we all just have one life to live and we should live it how best suits us.  So many people are caught up with what others are doing and in doing so, miss out on their own lives.  Too many busy bodied people out there trying to bring others down.. it’s just all very sad.  I only wish we lived in a world where everyone accepted each other, warts and all.  We would be a happier race of beings that’s for sure.

So there you have it.. me in six words.  What six words would you choose to describe yourself?  I applaud you if its easy… and applaud you if you have to do some inner searching.  There’s something to be said about knowing who you are and living that out-loud.