Category: connection

>Ben and I were recently asked if we wanted to play with another couple and to go to a swingers party. It SOUNDS sooo exciting. I was bummed when we didn’t go (I got over it though). But of course.. there are a few things that keeps this from happening.

  1. Ben and I are both kinda possesive of each other. Let me clarify that… we don’t really want to share each other with someone else. Having friends.. and doing things outside of each other are A okay…. but as far as being intimate with another… I think this would be very traumatic for each of us. Sooo for us to join another couple… this is sharing… and well.. yeah.. probably end with some hurt feelings.
  2. Ben is not comfortable having sex in front of others… no pictures.. not in the same room… not on cam. The idea of it.. just is not appealing to him. Me on the other hand… I think this is incredibly exciting. I have really come into my own voyeurwise in the last few years. There is something very, very erotic about watching another person/couple in the midst of something sexual. But again.. that’s just me. We are a couple… and so we have to find a common ground to where both will be comfortable.
  3. Past experience…. I’ve been down this road. I trust Ben completely.. but those bad memories… still taint my mouth. In fact… I completely trust said couple as well. They are awesome. This is my hang up.. no one else’s.

Despite this stuff.. it doesn’t keep me from thinking about how fun it COULD be. I feel like we kinda missed out on a great experience.. but if he’s not in it all the way… then I’d rather not do it at all. Keeping our healthy, happy relationship is way more important to me than one night of craziness.

What I do get from this is…. really hot masturbation material! So its not a complete waste!


>sweet release

>I spent all afternoon yesterday… lusting after my husband. As a result, by the time he got home… I was a ball of arousal. I greeted him when he walked in the door as always, kissing and hugging him. What I wanted to do is rape him *evil grin*

I followed him to our bedroom so he could change out of his work clothes. I pulled him down onto the bed when he changed and kissed him more. Slow and gentle kisses… I wanted to feel the whole thing. It lasted a short time and he wanted to go get something to drink.

We walked together… arms around each other kissing as we walked to the kitchen. He had said he was hungry though… and where I didn’t want to give up easily… I also did not want to deny food to him after a twelve hour day at work.

He pulled a beer out of the fridge and I started to get dinner started when he said he just wanted to relax with me for a bit first. I saw this as my chance and seized the moment. Walking up to him my arms reached around his waist and hugged him tight. His scent was intoxicating…. and I found my lips on his neck in no time.

I was met with no resistance and so I worked my way around his neck then pulled his shirt to the side exposing his collar bone. I lavished my attention in his flesh… as I got the reaction I wanted so badly.

His hand dove into the back of my jammie pants as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of my ass. The other hand headed north, grazing the side of my breast… sending shock waves through my body straight to my pussy.

Soon his hand wandered around to my stomach and down. His fingers dipped into my dripping cunt and found my clit with such ease. My knees went weak with the firm circles he made. I leaned against him… managing to keep myself standing as he worked me over. It seemed like less than a minute before I was rocked by an intense orgasm that left my pants wet.

We kissed deep and passionately…. as he lead me back to our room. Once there, clothes went flying… and before we knew it… our naked bodies were once again reunited. We sleep naked next to each other every night… but there is something so wonderful about the carnal feeling of skin on skin during a sexual encounter. In my head I remarked to myself just how much I missed feeling his skin against mine in that way… even if only a week had passed.

Our feverous embrass was ended by him pushing me to my knees. I took his member into my mouth slowly… feeling every inch enter my mouth. This slow pace lasted just seconds before he started to fuck my face.

“Touch your clit”, he ordered… and I happily obliged him. With my free hand I cupped his balls…. gently massaging them. I stroked my clit with vigor… wanting to feel the release he had given me just minutes before. The thing is…. that’s what he wanted too…. and I wasn’t getting up till I did.

When I finally came again…. he pulled me to my feet… and was about to turn me around to take me from behind when I climbed on the bed. I took his hand in mine and laid back… legs spread… welcoming him into me.

Ben grabbed onto my legs and with one smooth motion slide his cock deep into me. I was worried it was going to hurt a bit… being the way I’ve been feeling… but it was that same wonderful fullness that its always been. Thus, the worry melted away… and I was completely in the here in now.

My hands roamed his upper body…. moans and sighs escaping me. All the while he was pounding away at my pussy… filling me up. After a bit he pulled away and I flipped around onto my hands and knees. The head of his cock pressed against me and I pushed back, empailing myself.

I kept rocking back and forth with him… flexing my kagel muscles…. determined to push him over the edge. The result was pushing ME over the edge instead… but I held on… I wanted…. no needed to feel him cum in me again.

His movements become erratic…. and I know that his climax is not in the far off future. With this knowlege… I vigorously fuck him back… panting between screams. And then…. his body jerks… spilling his seed into me. I push back into him…. wanting to milk him dry before we collapse in each others arms… a huge smile on my face.

After we caught our breath… my head on his chest… I sighed…. “I missed that SO much”.

“Me too baby, me too.”

>We celebrated Valentine’s Day early this year because I have to work all next weekend… so we figured this weekend would be the best. After all… it’s not about the day per say.. but about us.

I had been thinking and planning our night for about two weeks now. I am the planner of our relationship… Ben doesn’t plan anything- which is fine. This is how our day unfolded.

Last night.. I made up an excuse to go outside to my car… instead I went to his car and filled the front with balloons, Hershey’s kisses, and a note telling him I love him and to have a good day. This morning he called me after I got to work to thank me for it and tell me how much he loved it… that it brought a big smile to his face… and that “I was the best hunny ever”. So the morning started out really good.

After work, I came home and straightened the house. I was afraid I wasn’t actually going to get everything put together before he got home.. but I pulled it off. I cut up fruit for an appetizer.. blew up more balloons.. laid out rose petals on the ground and bed… lit candles… and started my playlist going that I had put together specifically for this.

When Ben got home… he gave me the cutest stuff bears.. its a couple.. one is dressed as a devil and the other as an angel.. very cute. I kissed him to thank him… very passionately I might add. From there we headed to the bathroom to shower.

While he was shaving afterward, I got into a red satin nighty. I went into our bedroom where I had laid out drinks for us… the fruit, crackers, and cheese…. as well as his card and truffles I made (we decided not to exchange gifts since we’re saving for vacation). I went around the room lighting candles then went and waited for him in the bathroom.

After he was done… I led him into our room where we exchanged cards… mine made him cry *grins*. I was pretty proud of it… I made it as well. There’s just something to be said about the hand made touch… even if it does cost more.

When we were done, we opened our drink and poured it into the glasses I laid out.. then I took a scarf and tied it around his head. He leaned up against the head board as I hand fed him fruit… it was fun to say the least… and erotic all at the same time. Every couple bits I’d give him the glass to drink and such…. it really turned out better than I had envisioned.

When we were full… I leaned up and kissed him.. working my way down his neck. Ben always makes me feel beautiful and wanted.. but something about tonight… I just felt very sexy. I felt… passionate… and raw… in the wonderful way… that way you can only feel with someone who loves every thing about you… even your flaws.

We had amazing sex… I came… well who knows how many times… on top of our bed covered in rose petals. Afterward, I laid there cuddled up in his arms… thinking how perfect it was… how it was just how Valentine’s Day should be… not about jewelry… or flowers.. but about sharing a day… or night with the one you love.

That is what it is to me at least.

>Last night Ben and I did something a little different. He got home from work around eight and we went and showered. After, I started dinner and he was playing random music for us to listen to. We chatted about our day and such.

When dinner was done, we ate and watched Prison Break. As soon as it was over, we started listening to music again. For a while he tortured me with the music he listens to… so I was chatting on IM on my phone.

As I was texting.. he put on Savage Garden (which we both like actually). We sang together and I leaned into him… having one of those moments you just can’t make happen. After it was over… I asked him to choose “I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You” (cheesy- I know). We sang it together as well…

He looked into my eyes.. and I stared back singing. I felt so overwhelmed in that moment… but in a good way. My love for him filled me… and my eyes teared up. He sat there glossy eyed… with this sweet little smile… as a tear rolled down my cheek. He touched his hand to my face, using his thumb to wipe away the tear.

It was a sweet moment… to say the least. It was really nice to do something different, that’s for sure. For the rest of the night we listened to music, taking turns on songs (since music is really the only thing we don’t see eye to eye on lol). It had fun for sure.

>waves of emotion

>As of late, I have mentioned (0r I think I have!) the level of stress around my life right now. It’s kept me from posting.. kept us from having our normal sex life.. so yes, it has not been fun.

Sunday night we were watching tv… I felt very distant and disconnected from Ben. I really didn’t know why… and it sucked to say the least. When we finally decided it was time to head to bed we showered then retired to our room.

Normally when we lay down we’re both on our backs… but slowly we both rolled so that we were facing each other. Ben was being so tender… rubbing my back gently… softly caressing my face. I needed it. I needed to feel connected to him again. I don’t typically get to feeling this way… but I was.

It’s strange really… we are both living the same stress with the exception of the stress from work for me. Yet, he still was right along side of me… and I was dealing with this on my own.. even though I had no idea this is what I had done.

His touch soon turned to a petting of sort.. with a sexual undertone. I started to feel lost in his arms… echoing in my head I kept wanting him to just grab the back of my neck and do what he wanted… to recenter me.

We started kissing heavily… passion was oozing from every inch of our bodies. And then he did it… his hand gripped the back of my neck. I melted. His other hand roamed.. pinching my nipples… teasing my pussy. I wanted him inside of me… but I really did not want him to stop his onslaught of my body.

His lips parted from mine and down my neck he kissed roughly… I felt his teeth sink into my shoulder and I let out a whimper. I breathed in deep… trying not to beg him to stop… after all.. this is what I had been wanting.. what I had been missing.

I squirmed under him… trying to push him off some… but all this got me was my hands held up over my head leaving my body exposed to his every whim. His other hand had stopped at my pussy again… pinching the delicate lips making me writhe in pain.

Make no question… I was drenched and loving every minute of it.

My hands were released but I found that seconds later his hand cupped my mouth and nose blocking off air and muffling my whining noises. I wanted to scream… but I didn’t want him to stop.

When he took his hands away, I gasped for air. There was down time.. he grabbed my ponytail and shoved my face onto his stiff cock. He shoved his hardness to the back of my throat causing me to gag. I pulled back gasping for air but was pulled back onto him.

“That’s right, you take that cock”, he ordered.

He fucked my face hard and rough. I felt dizzy but turned on immensely. I don’t know how much time passed but when he pulled out he moved me quickly so that he could fuck me. He had climbed off the bed leaving me on my hands and knees… ass in the air, begging for him to fill me with his cock.

He took no time… and slammed into my wet pussy. He was not gentle anymore… fucking me hard… pounding into my body. His hands dug into my hips pulling himself deep inside me. I was in heaven… I was so elated.

After a bit he snatched out of me mid stride and I was left feeling empty and wanting more. He commanded me to get on my knees and suck him some more… I quickly got to my knees. I took him into my mouth again… tasty my juices on him. His hand was on the back of my head keeping me at the depth that he wanted. I gently cupped his balls as he fucked my face again.

Soon he told me he was going to come… and I sucked even harder wanting to feel his cock explode in my mouth. I was soon rewarded. I swallowed every last bit and wrapped my arms around his waist…. and laid my head against his leg.

He helped me up on the bed, getting between my legs. He ran his finger over my clit then plunged a few into my wetness. His other hand rubbed my legs… just in the way that he knows does the trick.

My fingers roamed down south helping him by stimulating my clit. I felt amazing… but felt anxiety at the same time. I’m not sure why. The room was warm… and after I awhile I cried out that I couldn’t cum.

I felt exasperated. I wanted to cum… but I was so stress ridden that it wasn’t going to happen. Ben shushed me soothingly and told me to breathe. So, I took a deep breath and started rubbing again…. his motions had not stopped… he was not giving up.

I rubbed methodically… making sure to take deep breaths. Before I knew it I could feel the wave of a powerful orgasm coming. Two more rubs and the wave broke over me…. so powerful it left my head spinning… and then it happened. I began sobbing… hard and uncontrollably.

“I need you”, I cried out with my hands extended needing him to hold me. He climbed on top of me and my arms went around him. I felt safe… I felt loved…. I felt relief.

He laid down beside me… arms wrapped again me and let me cry. He asked what was wrong… and honestly… I had not known till then just how stressed out I had been. The sobs subsided soon. He laid next to me the whole time… touching me… my face.. trying to make me feel better… and I did.

I’ve always known I would be lost without him.. but in that very moment… I really knew how deep that need and want was. He is my rock. He grounds me. We had reconnected… I had gotten what I needed… and he had been the giver of this.