Category: work

>B is for…..




I work in a bakery. I’ve worked there for six years now… and I love what I do. It’s fun and challenging at times. It’s nice that I have the freedom to be creative sometimes… while still sticking to the company’s idea of how they want their cakes and products to look.

These are our two ovens… they are busy most of the day with various things we make. I almost never use them because well… I’m not a baker. 🙂 During the winter after I come back from lunch or break I’m usually cold… and always head for one of these to warm myself in. Two minutes in a 400 degree oven always does the trick!

This is our big mixer that is used to make my butter cream and other things on. It’s actually taller than I am. KitchenAid has nothing on this mixer hehe. When I snapped this picture, they were busy making lemon meringues.

The bowl above is where the icing is made then it is transferred into this hip high bucket. We have three (two for white and one for chocolate) and go through several of these a week. That bucket was full this morning and only has about a fourth left in it now… we were kind of busy today.

This is our top fancier case…. the finished product. It always makes me smile when people walk up and say things like they’re just drooling or that the stuff in that case looks amazing. We get asked all the time if it is even real. It’s pretty cool.

But… that’s my bakery… where I spend forty hours of my week at. There are certainly worse places to work.


>I kicked off my birthday on Saturday morning… yes… a day early. When I woke up… I realized that my clothes that I had washed the night before…. were in fact still wet. I groggily stumbled through the house… noticing that Ben had left the light on in the kitchen/dining room when he had left for work.

Now.. here is where I’m going to make us look a little lame. We had a poker party on New Year’s Eve right? Well we had hung a HNY banner… well that we never took down. Why you ask? Well… honestly I have no idea why we have not taken it down… so yes…

I noticed said banner on the table… and thought it was kind of odd… that he would take it down, he must have got tired of looking at it right? I kept walking… then tossed my clothes into the dryer. I figured that I had a few minutes to pass before I could get dressed… so I sat down on the couch to check my email… that is when I noticed this..

I called him to thank him… then got dressed for work. I headed out the door… then found his next surprise…

He also filled my car with balloons and a blinkie “It’s my birthday” pin… it was very sweet.

The rest of the day was uneventful… other than my allergies kicking my ass… by the end of the work day.. I was feeling pretty shitty. I had to buck it up though… I had a party to go to. A co-worker of mine is moving.. and we were having a going away party.

I jumped in the shower and headed out shortly after. We planted ourselves in the bar of the restaurant. I ordered my first drink almost immediately. After a hour of being there… I had downed three… and was feeling no pain.

Ben joined us shortly after…. he was there to pick me up after work basically…. no driving for Sierra. Needless to say.. I was giggly.. and kinda stupid. Buttttttttttt I had a great time… before I passed out when we got home.

I can only imagine the stories that will be told about me at work on Tuesday…

>I wonder, the life I would have lived…. had I made different choices along the way.

Would I be where I am today? Had I not had children… and did the four year college thing.. would I live in the Northwest? Probably not… because at each decision… at each fork in the road… there is a different outcome.

Perhaps I could have graduated with a degree in marketing as I had dreamed…. and live in some large city… doing the grind… behind a desk some where. Dress to kill everyday… with a go getter attitude putting my social life on a back burner to further myself up the corporate ladder. But really? Is that truly me.. I think not.

Perhaps I could have married someone else… never having kids… living in a the high life with my powerful husband… in a condo we had long since payed for. Encircled by our flashy friends that would make me question if they were true friends.

Or.. perhaps I’d be in a devastatingly unhappy marriage… the typical house mom… staying at home.. making dinners and cleaning house. Carpooling the children that I would have had to soccer and baseball. Always the ever faithful, happy wife on the outside but deep down loathing my busy, but some how boring life.

See… no matter how many infinite different versions of me there could have been… I can’t help but be thankful for the me that I am. I have made some not so wise decisions in my day, but in that same breath, I have made some pretty damn good ones. Had I not made each and every one of those, I would not be here.. I know that… I would not be married to Ben.. I would not have the children I have… who really knows where and who I would be.

Quite frankly, I’m happy not know what other version I could be.

>here I be…

>There is a skip in my step… a smile where there was not one before… a laughter that fills my soul…. and a smile that graces my face. I tell you… vacation did wonders for me. I was really getting to a point where going to work was much more of a drag than usual. I just really needed some time away. Yes, I had taken a vacation six months ago.. but the holidays are particularly busy for me at work…. and so that six months felt more like a year.

I find that I’m much happier at work right now (for however that may actually last). It really is a nice feeling… to be somewhat happy about being where you work. I know there has been many times over the last year where I have just loathed being there for one reason or another. It seems that it may be turning around… and for that I am happy…. happy that I waited it out.

It really amazes me what a little extended time off can do for one’s demeanor. Now if I could only get time off each month…. how happy would I be then? *laughs* So for now… all is right with the world but with that comes a lack of stuff to write about…. I’m in that rut of writer’s block again. I really hate that too… because I really WANT to write.. I want the words to come rolling off my finger tips and into the computer… like a well sung song. And yet… here I sit.. blabbering about nothing…

Perhaps.. I can attribute this to so much going on in my head… I’m running head first into another busy time of year… filled with birthdays.. anniversaries…. and graduation *shudders* (what an evil thing that graduation time). I sit and I weigh what goes through my mind and wonder if it is really that blog worthy… I mean.. who really wants to hear about the new guy at work… that I can’t figure out if he’s gay.. or if he’s submissive (not that they go hand in hand by any means!). Or who wants to hear about Ben’s stupid car alarm going off in the middle of each night.. several times. I mean.. seriously.

So instead you get to read my rambling… about nothing.. just something to fill the page.. to get me to the next hopeful post… I’m sorry!

>home.. and back to work

>Sigh… vacation always go too quickly. We got home on Sunday morning… and spent that day and Monday busy getting things back in order.. getting groceries… and what not.. so not a whole lot of down time.

I went back to work today… which is a bummer. I really could have used another 2 or so days off to rest up from the trip.. but such is life. Time to get back to the grind stone. But I can bask in the glow of another great vacation. We had such a great time… I took like 700 pics… I’m kinda picture crazy. I know I was driving the kids nuts I’m sure… “hey.. go stand over there… and there!”.

So yeah… I don’t have a lot to talk about.. I do have a post in the back of my head… but I’m feeling kinda anxious.. and typing isn’t really something I want to do right now… sooooooooooo that is for another time.

Just wanted to say a little something.. things should get back to normal around here now that I’m home.. which is a good and bad thing lol.

>a glimpse

>The alarm goes off… snooze is it… several times. I was never a snoozer until I met Ben. I always know how many of them I can have before I truly HAVE to get up. I roll out of bed reluctantly… not wanting to leave the warm bed that I share with my husband. Lucky man, he gets to still sleep… for me it is time to start my day… and leave for work.


Work is crazy… the manager had a death in the family.. and so therefore, I end up having to help bake. Diane is back at the bench baking with me… so the day is going by rather quickly. She makes a phone call to her friend who just had a baby only twelve hours earlier.

“Is he cute?”, she asks…. I laugh at her… and ask her what new mother doesn’t think their baby is cute? I mean.. really.


Lunch has come and gone… the end of the day is approaching way too quickly work wise.. but good that I get to be going home soon. We’re making cream cakes.. which in all reality all they are is oversized pudding rings. We’re trying to make the process go quicker and so we’re scooping the batter together.

I keep dropping some on her arm… not meaning to of course… I told her… if I really meant to… I would drop my whole handful on her.


In the car on the way home… I’m pretty tired… I worked really hard.. and honestly all I want to do is go home. I’m driving Ben’s car which has a quarter tank of gas… I know the nice thing to do is to get gas for him so he doesn’t have to early in the morning when its colder out.

I’m torn.. and the closer I get to gas station does not bring any decision. The internal conflict goes on until I turn into the station… I guess I’m filling up his tank.


At home its the usual family stuff. The kids being kids… trying to get dinner started.

“What are we having for dinner Momma?”, the youngest asks.

“Food”, I respond… just as I always do when she asks. She cocks her head to the side and give me a yeah right look.

“Just tell me”, she says.

“I told you, food.” She eyeballs the mean I’m preparing, “Tacoes?”.


“Spaghetti!!!”, she exclaims.. its going to be an easy dinner night for once.


Kids are finally in bed… and its time to truly relax. Ben and I are on the couch watching a show. His legs are on my lap… all kicked back and relaxed. I feel his toe brush over my nipple… I let out a sigh and close my eyes. Feels so good.

I look over at him as he stops and looks all innocent. I smile and turn back to the tv. Again I feel his toe teasing my now very hard nipple. I don’t look over this time… only enjoy the sensation of his tease.


After our shower.. getting ready to go to sleep.. I lay across the bed… my face against the mattress. I smell him… that scent that drives me mad and turns me into a cat in heat. I just lay there and sniff (yes I’m strange like that).

“It smells like you baby”, I say.

“Well who else would it smell like?”, Ben asks.

“I dunno.”

“You’re getting my side of the bed wet”, talking about the wet head that I am sporting. He grabs his pilling and puts it down on top of my head, fluffing it. And let me tell you.. this pillow is like SUPER heavy.. you could kill someone with this thing.


Facing each other… we touch… his hand rubbing up and down my spine. The wave of arousal washes over me and I am his… without a doubt. We kiss… not hot and heavy… but slow and intense. Our hands explore one another’s body…. I’m engulfed in his every move.

His hand moves up and grasps the side of my neck… firmly. I feel the wetness grown between my legs… the twinge of need. He lets go… and adjusts his hold…. getting a good handful of of my scruff. I am in awe and in lust of him… of the power that he has over me.

Again, he readjusts… this time both his hands find their way around my neck.. cutting off my air. The rush of the lack of air comes over me and I signal him to let go…. I feel faint for a breif second… and in my head…. I hear myself ask more… more please… do it again.


We’re on our backs… my arm draped over his stomach. The other free hand is intertwined with his… laying there in our afterglow… the bliss that great sex brings.

“What are you thinking?”, curiously I ask.

“About how good you feel in my arms”

“MMmm yes, me too.”

My eyes still closed.. I sigh…, “You know baby… this is the best part of my day. Laying in bed with you.. the house is quiet… and its just us… together.”

“I know what you mean… it’s mine too.”


I’m still unstable but I manage to roll out of bed to clean up. He meets me at the end, I smile and lean into him…. bumping our heads into each other. We chuckle, that giggle that lovers share…. that only they can… when something silly has happened, but its not ackward… it’s almost sweet.

We kiss and hug… our naked bodies pressed against each other.


I can hear the tell-tale sign that he is drifting off to sleep. He almost always does this before me. I turn a bit… he stirs…. I tell him I love him… and good night. He, the same.

I roll over followed by my beloved and am encased in his arms… again I sigh and smile… soon I’ll be asleep.

>Answer: YES!

It truly amazes me… and words are hard to shape in my head simply because I’m astonished and horrified at some people. We live in a world where women have the right to vote…. African Americans can sit anywhere they want to on the bus…. and we even elect our first ever black President. Now tell me why… there are so many simple minded people- people that feel that some book should dictate how we live our lives?

Last time I checked… I could have swore that church and state were supposed to be separate. And if this is so… then why… OH WHY… does the “state” have the right to say who can marry who? Just because someone falls in love with someone of the same sex…. why are they less entitled to legally marrying? How are those people any less American? How do they have less rights?

Again, last time I checked… all men are created equal…. but of course.. there are stipulations. Back in the day it was… equal unless you are a woman… or if you were not white. Now it’s equal, unless you’re gay. Give me a freaking break.

I’m sorry- wait not.. I’m not sorry. No book… written thousands of years ago… that has been updated time and time again… from some so called God…. will tell me how to live my life. No thanks. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay.. not in the slightest. Whom you love is not my business.. nor is it anyone else’s or the government’s.

That is what the problem is… so many religious fanatics telling people what to do. Live your own life… if they chose to live that way.. then fine… that is there right. Just as it is any gay person’s right to marry the person of their choosing. It’s just simple as that.

All this debate about same sex marriage is just sickening. I just don’t know how else to put it. I have my opinion.. just like anyone else…. and my opinion is that everyone should be able to be free to live the life that suits them. That’s what this country was founded on after all.

So, yes, I’m fired up. What fired me up?

I was on lunch today. There were three people in the break room…. all over the age of 45. Some how the topic of same sex marriage came up. One of the women was saying how sick it was… and the other two were going on about how it’s just not right.

They pointed out that I was being quiet… I said that it’s cause I had an opinion and I didn’t agree with there’s. That it was fine to have a different point of view, but that I did not feel the same way they do.

But that was all I needed. I was so angry at how small minded they were being. I mean, how does that really affect them? Do they stay up at night worrying about it? I think not… so why oppress others… begrudge them the same rights that you have?

I left the room a while later feeling sad and angered. For all the bounds and strides we’ve made as a country…. we still have a long way to go…. a long, long way till we are all truly equal.



I found this clip on The Late Bloomer’s blog….

>our trip

>We’re home! We had a great time at the beach.. but coming home is always a lovely feeling. It rained the whole time we were there… and then magically… it stopped almost as soon as we rolled into town. Needless to say, I was not too pleased about that. It just figures, you know?

Highlights of the trip:

1. We were on the news! We had went to the beach on Tuesday (in a short break of the rain) so that the kids could fly kites and such. We stayed out for like 45 mins before the wind was unbearable. There was winter storm like weather while we were there… 40 mph winds in fact.

Anyways, we were packing up the chairs and stuff when they walked up to us and interviewed Ben and I. It was pretty cool. We were on the 4,5,6, and 11 o’clock news. My Dad recorded the 6 pm one.

2. The aquarium in Newport was really awesome BUT outdoors mostly. I was not expecting that. You can see in our pictures how our jackets are wet…. who would have thought in August we would have needed them or umbrellas? That’s the Great Northwest for you.

3. The scenery is GORGEOUS. I cannot describe how beautiful it all is.. the drive was nice.. so much to take in.

4. CHEESE! We stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory on our way home yesterday… I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much cheese in my life.

Things that sucked:


2. The shower head… it sucked… it took forever to get rinsed off in the shower.

3. Ben had surgery on his toe a couple days before we left so he didn’t get to do as much as the kids and I did… I missed him greatly on the times he stayed at the house. He was a trooper though and sucked it up most of the time. The other downfall to that was that in like six days.. we had sex once. I was dying… seriously.

4. With all the stairs in the house (it was 3 stories) and all the walking.. we were all SO sore. Our legs were all crampy.. but better now. Apparently they finally adjusted.

So now that we’re home.. I’m glad.. and it’s time to start planning our next trip… it wont be till next year though. I have a few more days off.. I don’t go back to the hell hole I call work till Tuesday.. thank goodness!

>life happens

>As you can probably tell… I haven’t blogged in what seems like forever. So much has been going on that I just got taken away with it all… and when I’d think of blogging.. there were just other things I wanted to do instead… it just seemed kind of like a chore. I either couldn’t think of anything to write about or if I did have something to talk about… I just did not feel like it.

SO. Here I am…. lets see if we can get back up to par.

1. We did in fact get our new floggers… and to say the least, love them! That is a whole completely different post that I intend on making though. I will say that I like the leather one better than the suede… but like them both.

2. Work has been crazy busy keeping me stressed indeed.

3. Summer also has been keeping me from the computer… living in the Northwest, you have to take advantage of the sunny warm weather for the few months that it’s around.

4. Vacation is right around the corner (thank goodness!). We’re going to the coast for a few days and staying in a beach house. I can hardly wait!

5. Lets see… bizarre things that have taken place…

Yesterday morning I was sleeping… I was kind of half asleep waiting for the alarm to go off. Ben was already up and getting ready for work as he has to leave just a few minutes before me. I heard this loud crash sound and bolted out of bed to look out the window.

We live almost on the corner of an intersection where several wrecks have happened so I just assumed that was the case… it still scared the crap out of me. Anyway, I looked out the window to see a late 80’s model Honda Civic turning right and speeding off.

I called out to Ben asking what that noise was.. he responded by telling me that the blue Civic had just drove through our front yard…. and through our chain link fence! I threw my robe on and we headed out the front door to see what was up. The neighbor across the road told us what he saw and that he was calling the cops.

This car had to have been booking ass… seriously… it took out two sides of the fence leaving behind pieces of the car. The cops came and took the pieces (a side mirror, the undercarriage, and a wind shield wiper) and our statement. I doubt anything will come of it.

It was just strange ya know? Just one of those random things.. that you are thankful that no one was hurt.. and that nothing was so damaged it could not be fixed.

Anyways… that is all I can think of right now. I will be sure to post a full story about my first flogging experience… needless to say.. it was nothing short of amazing.

>Sometimes I hate my job

>People are strange… this is no big surprise for anyone, at least I hope not! They just do the strangest things… sometimes the motivations are good ones and other times… well yeah, you get the point.

Lately I’ve been having a rough time at work. I haven’t been very happy being there. I do go through patches like this where I am unhappy.. not necessarily because of what I do… but other things. Honestly, I love what I do.

I have a second under me… I’ve always gotten Sundays and Mondays off since I became the head. She, of course, doesn’t like this and brings it up every week. She doesn’t think its fair that she has to work Sundays alone and that she doesn’t get them off.

The thing is… I never got Sundays off when I was the second.. its just the way it is. We got into a huge fight over it…. and I think this finally made her go and start complaining. On Tuesday when the schedule was written, I was told I’d get every other Sunday and Monday off now… which means… I work eight days straight every other week.

It just pisses me off some of the things people do… I mean really. I gave her everything she’s ever wanted… if she wanted to take a special day off… no problem.. we make it work… she needed a special schedule… no problem… we set it up so she could have it.

I do a lot of extra stuff that she doesn’t do because I’m the first…. the ONLY perk I get for it… is my days off. They are the days off I have with Ben. We only get those days to spend real time together because he commutes to work 45 minutes in each direction. I worked very hard and long to get to where I am… and I feel like I’m being punished.

I totally understand why she feels its unfair… but honestly she knew what the job entailed before she agreed to take it… so I didn’t feel too bad. Not to mention that half the time I am carrying about 70% of the work load.

It’s just so frustrating to me. So in the air of compromise I’ve tried to come up with a solution. She can have Fridays and Saturdays off and I take Sundays and Mondays. I think its fair… that way we both get what we want. I just wish she could be a better person and not be so ungrateful. But whatever…. I still get to work eight glorious days straight this week (today is day four).

The things I do in the name of friendship.