Category: sex life

>I have always been hesitant to air our dirty laundry… I didn’t want to be THAT girl that bitched and moaned about her husband. The fact is… I adore him with my every being… I love him… and plan on spending our lives together. No matter if I am upset with him… or completely happy.. that does not change.

With that said.

Our only ongoing issue in our relationship.. has been sex. Sex is very important to me… always has been. Its part of how I identify myself. I am a very sexual person… period. Ben.. no so much. He is okay with having sex a couple times a week… and leave it at that. He’s not the type to spend time looking for new things to do.. or watch porn without me. It’s not at the front of his mind… almost ever.

For me.. that’s really not so true. I think about sex everyday… multiple times a day. I like thinking about new things… looking for new things. I could happily have sex almost everyday… and be good to go.

There is not a huge difference in the amount we want sex… but it is very noticeable to me sometimes. I am very touchy feely… in a sexual way sometimes…. even if I’m not necessarily trying to initiate sex. Sometimes… my goal is just for him to want me…. to have that want build till later. He doesn’t always get that… the point of it. And so this leads to my feelings being hurt.. because he pushes me away.

About every six to eight months… we do this dance… where it comes to a head… mainly because when it comes up.. we put a quick patch on it and move forward. We never really come to any answers to how to meet in the middle. And so things start back all hot and heavy… and slowly move to the other… and culminates in me being butt hurt and him feeling like he can’t perform to what I need.

I’m really tired of this dance… tired of it coming to that.. because honestly we’re better than that. We can work out our differences.. we are intelligent adults. So thats where we are. It will all work itself out.. its just trying to figure out how to get to that point.

We are both trying to figure out what exactly we need and what we want. When we do, we’ll sit down and talk.. compare.. and figure out the middle ground. It will be work to figure out something new.. and make it work… but I know we can.


>sex rant

>Yesterday I was reading over the AOL news… and I opened a story that lead me to another link. It was asking… how much sex is enough? I, of course, being the curious girl that I am… began reading. For me.. I really don’t think there is a such thing as TOO much sex.. but that’s just me. We all know how sex crazed I can be.

I read along.. this short snippet.. and came across this little jewel….

“Ugh too much sex is when I just want to watch MTV reruns after working all day and my boyfriend is hounding me to get into bed with him. But I guess I’d say enough sex is two times a week, if I’m feeling generous.” — Sam, 26

Ok… ahem… just how do I be nice about about this.. without seeming like a complete bitch…. okay.. there isn’t a way….

IF I’M FEELING GENEROUS!?!? Are you freaking kidding me? I hate, hate women like this… that act as though they are doing their guy a favor. Please, by all means.. do him a REAL favor and LEAVE. Hopefully after that he will smarten up and find a real woman… that desires him.

I am just floored by this… I just cannot by any means figure out why anyone would feel this way. I mean, no, sex is not the only thing going on in a relationship.. but it is part of it… and if you think you’re going out of your way by having sex with said boyfriend… perhaps… my dear.. you have a problem.

I know that there are women that don’t care for sex. Something bad has happened to them or they just plain don’t enjoy it. I really think that a person that doesn’t enjoy sex.. ever… has some hold ups in their past… be it abuse… mental or physical. I am not trying to say I know every thing… and that allllll women can be fit into this… I know better than that. I’m just saying… sex is a wonderful thing… it is meant to be a good and fun thing… and to not enjoy it.. well… seems like a crime. It’s certainly a shame.

I know personally that I love sex… especially sex with my husband. I could have sex everyday.. and still want more of him. It’s how I am… I could not imagine feeling like he’s lucky that I allowed him to have sex with me. Please… give me a break. Most of the time he is the one beating me off with a stick… (heh.. something I might like lol).

I dunno.. but this just made me see red… that poor boyfriend of hers… he’s a sucker. Maybe I’m wrong here… but its how I feel… plain and simple.

>what’s happening to me?

>When did sex two times a week become part of my life? What happened and when did this change take place…. and when did I become okay with it? Okay, but truly missing it. This shift in our sex life… is it because of all the drama surrounding my birth control.. or is it something more? Between that… his back hurting… being tired… or not feeling good… it seems that sex is something that is few and far between now.

This scares me like I cannot describe… while this shift continue to where its once a week? Or heaven forbid… once a month!? I don’t think I could handle that. I want to say that when I do get my IUD back.. that things will go back to normal.. but I’m not sure about that.

As it is… we’re looking at another two weeks of waiting for that to happen. The doctor wanted to wait a little longer to reinsert… to have a blood test.. he doesn’t want to take any chances that I could possibly be pregnant. I say.. that sucks.. big time. I’m really sick of this limbo and how it fucks with my head… maybe it’s fucking with Ben’s head too.. who knows.

We talk about it… but still that does not give me full insight to what is going on in his head. All I know is what I’m going through and I feel like our world is upside down. Like we’re in the twilight zone… where things are not as they should be. I’m tired of thinking about this.. about writing about it… I want to write about exciting, sexual things that get my blood boiling just by retelling it.

Yes.. this is real life… yes.. we’re still happy…. yes… we still have sex.. just not as often… but damn it.. I’m sick of it. Sick of the uncertainty… the wondering… and being told that I should not have sex at all… or if I have no self control… condoms. Well, obviously this guy does not know me… because there is no way I can go without two weeks without sex laying next to Ben every night… feeling his warmth up against me. Yeah. No. Way.

I so badly want to feel him right now… his hands on my body… cause that want is still there.. that need… the primal one. The one that makes me want him.. that aches to feel him… and turns me to a puddle at the thought of him.

Geez.. I need to get laid.

>sex on the brain

>My whole sex life.. I’ve had an impression… this image… or knowledge that has of late been questioned in my mind. I have always thought that men were hornier and thought of sex more than women. This was hard for me to believe since I always thought of it.. a large percent of my day.. how on Earth could a man think of it more? But this is how it seemed. Every where I looked, there were horny men. End of story right?

Not so much.

Ben and I were having a conversation. I asked him if he thought about sex through out his day… like I do. He said not really… which… was hard to swallow (no pun). This cannot be right. The world is geared towards sex… there is really no where you can go.. nothing you can watch… that you won’t encounter something sexual.

Even with that… this means.. people think about sex a lot right? Maybe not… maybe Ben is right.. and its all about sex selling. So this leaves me to have to rethink my world. For me to have to be able to deal with sex on the brain. I try very hard not to let it over take me… but it does. There is not a day that passes that its not on my mind and how I want it. Hell, I’d go far enough to say…. there is not a hour that passes.

So does this mean that women want/think of sex more? I mean really…. I want to know. It’s not like I can walk up to men I know and ask… that does not seem appropriate. So this really leaves me to throw it out to my readers.. and hopppppppppeeee that you love me enough to give me your thoughts. Maybe even then I wont have a definite answer.. but maybe I’ll be closer to something.

So that is it… that’s my thoughts on it… let me have it 🙂

>Seriously. It seems like most of the day, all I think about is sex…. about how I want it… about when I’ll get it next. Even in the glow after sex… I wonder if there is a chance I’ll get it again that day. So.. I guess that makes a greedy, horny girl. Which is fine I suppose… I am who I am… and I’m okay with that.

I have found the issue in this is that… Ben does not share the same sex drive that his nympho of a wife has. As of late it feels like our sex life has settled into a slower pace… one of which I am not happy about. That’s not to say that I’m unhappy, because that is not the case at all. I’m still very happy and in love with my husband… I just have this urge… this unquenchable thirst for sex- all the time.

I know lots of people would just say so, what’s the problem. Well. The problem is that I’m not getting it as frequently as I’d like and damn it, I miss it! I miss when our sex was everyday. The quality has no changed, just merely the quantity.

I also know that a lot of people have sex far less than me and I should not be complaining…. buttttt I’ve tasted the life of getting it all the time. It’s hard to go back. I know we’re both tired… and we work a lot but there’s always time for it.. you just have to make it. The other thing is… if you ask him, he will tell you he can’t keep up with me and that I’m killing him (hehe). So I suppose that means I just have to deal with it and figure out a way to sedate my needs some.

Sigh.. I just miss it. That’s all…. or if I could just cut down my drive just a tad… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, if this is our worst problem, we’ve got it made right? 🙂

>poll time

>I don’t have much to say today so I figured I would do something different. I read something a while ago that many people rate their sex life above average… I like to think I’m in the category. So I want to know how YOU rate yourself. I would really be interested in seeing. Thanks in advance!

How do you rate your sex life?

Below Average
Above Average
Off the Charts
What sex life?

View Results

Make your own poll

>going up?

>Few people know that when I get onto an elevator… I size it up. I figure out if it’s doable. If there is enough time to make it worth it… if it would even be that fun in that one. It’s been a long running fantasy of mine… man… for what… almost ten years now.

When I was 18 or 19, I went to the hospital that my best friend’s aunt worked at. The employee elevator was the one we went up in… and to say the least, it was PERFECT. It wasn’t fancy by any means but it was slow moving and in the back of the hospital. The only times it was in use frequently shift changes. Needless to say at the time, I was single… and therefore, no one to assist me in my mission.

So many years later and thousands of miles away, I still have not accomplished it. Honestly, I don’t think I ever will. There is that hope in the back of my head though…. obviously, or I would not still get onto them and get a twinge of excitement rush through my body.

I can’t complain too much…. in the grand scheme of things I have probably done about 90% of the fantasies I’ve had. I’ve had a few threesomes (not a three girl one… which is a bummer), had sex on the beach (not as great as you’d think), in the pool, and so on. Hell, I’ve even had sex in a club before (oh the memories!) and on a balcony of a hotel. I’m the kind of girl that will go after something if it pops in my mind… that is if it is doable and won’t stand a good chance of getting me arrested *smiles*.

I feel very sorry for people that never get the chance to live out the stuff that makes them hot. I could not imagine that existence. Like the men that live their whole lives wanting to tie up their wife or share her with a friend but never say anything because they fear that they will be rejected. It’s very sad.

I could not just keep those things from Ben. It’s part of what makes us, us. I remember how scared I was to tell him about my kinky thoughts… but I did… and I’m so glad I did. I can’t imagine what our sex life would be without it. I’d be so unhappy knowing it was something I longed for so bad but couldn’t have it just because I was simply too afraid.

So anyway, here’s to hoping that one day we will find that perfect elevator…. and I get a saucy story to tell.

>So I was thinking last night… and it occurred to me the lack of actual “kink” in our sex as of late. Not that we HAVEN’T been having sex… its just been a lot less subdued in the kink arena. I really really miss it. I honestly think my husband enjoys it.. but does not obsess over it like I do. I think about it almost all day… I think I’m one of the horniest women I know.

It’s been at least a month since he’s tied me up… and probably closer to two weeks since we’ve had a really intense domination session. Now I know that probably doesn’t sound like a whole lot of time but in the world of me… that is. I get antsy when I go without sex for two days… I’m just like that. I love sex and I really love having sex with Ben. I have few vices in life.. and sex is one of them.

This isn’t really because he doesn’t want to… we have been pretty busy as of late which complicates life. I guess deep down I just wish he’d go out of his way to dominate me more- to be more aggressive in it. Once we’re smack dab in the middle of it… he’s plenty aggressive… I just feel like sometimes I initiate this kind of sex more than he does. It just bums me out sometimes. (Don’t get me wrong in this either… I love our sex life… I’m just not diluted enough to think that anyone’s sex life is perfect.)

I sent him a text the other day suggesting something I’d like. I told him I’d really like for him to just randomly text me and tell me what to do when he gets home or what to be wearing…. I just want to be told what to do sometimes. I want it to be his idea… what turns him on. He said it was a good idea. This was almost a week ago.

I’m so impatient and I hate to wait for things I really want. Its a flaw of mine. I just want him to do it. I also am sure he is planning on doing it… I just want it now. *laughs* I think I sound a wee bit whiny right now… sorry.

I guess what it comes down to I think that sometimes a couple tends to be lax and you have to make your sex life stay exciting and fresh. I just don’t want to fall into that lull and I feel that it may be headed that way. Between working and being busy with family it runs a person down… relationships take effort… and I fully intend on always putting forth that effort. I don’t want life to get in the way of the love that we have. 🙂

Tonight we’re going clubbing with some friends so no time for a long hot and heavy romp.. bummer… but hey.. there’s always tomorrow! hehe