I had a few posts in my head… ones I have intended to write about.  I had began a happy new year post as well.  I was going to do a year in review post too.  All these things I planned on doing.. and yet couldn’t actually start.. and the ones I started sit unfinished.  They’re in limbo.  Kind of like me.

So much stuff has happened.  There are so many things going on in my world that I don’t write about.  Some of it I want to share but it’s moving at such a fast pace, I don’t know where to start to even begin to do it justice.  Other things are.. just too hard to talk about.  They’re always there in my head… this huge weight on my chest.  I feel like I can’t breathe.  I keep waiting for a break to come… a little bit of fresh air to fill my lungs… and it never comes.

I felt like for sure I’d catch a break after the holidays passed.  That was a big part of my stress on top of some stuff that was going on.  Yet.. they have come and gone.. and it seems I am more stressed now than before.  It just keeps coming. When does the relief come?  I want to run away.  I want some time that is stress free and fun.  I need that.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask.  I’m tired of being the strong one… I’m tired of trying to figure out what is the right thing to do.  Does it mean I’ll stop doing that?  No.  I’ll still keep being strong and making decisions and following through.  That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

There are changes happening in my world… a transition if you will.  I don’t know what my world will look like when all of this comes out of the wash.  I hope it has some resemblance of what it once looked like.  Perhaps I am being dramatic.  I don’t know.  What I do know is I need a break from my life right now.  I pick somewhere warm and sunny… where I can lay on the beach and have fruity cocktails served to me with little umbrellas.  I want the biggest decision I have to make to be if I want to sun bathe or snorkel.  I want to be able to focus on me.  Unfortunately that isn’t possible and so won’t happen.

Until I can get this all sorted out… I will be taking a break from my blog.  I could be back in a week (that’s pretty unlikely)… or it could be a month.  I just don’t know right now.  Right now I know that I am unable to share my story in this forum.  It’s all too raw.  I didn’t want to leave what few readers I have hanging, wondering where I am at.  So that’s my story right now.  It’s filled with stress… however… this too shall pass.  I know this in my heart of hearts.  Nothing lasts forever.. and so I know that brighter days will be in store for me.