Desires come and go.  It happens because we are wired that way… we can’t be 100% into something every moment of the day.  We have mood shifts… different mind frames… all that.   The steak that sounded so good for dinner one day might not have the same appeal the next.  Variety is a very good thing.

And so, it doesn’t surprise me that my desire to be dominated sexually hasn’t been very strong lately.  I’ve had so many other things going on that it seems my brain has been distracted.. and very much not focused on a good ass beating.

In my head.. I know I miss it… and want it.  I think it’s like summer… people know they love it… they remember it being a certain way, but there is just nothing like experiencing it.  That first warm day, when you can go out and take a dip in a nice cool body of water is amazing.  Just like that first taste of dominance after a bit of a dry spell.  I remember it being amazing, but there isn’t much better than actually experiencing it first hand.

And so, the deep desire.. that leaves me wanton and crazy isn’t there… but I know that I need only experience a taste of domination to be right back where I was only weeks ago.  I miss it. Yes.. very much so.  It doesn’t feel right to go so long without it.  There seems to be this little piece of me that is off… and wrong.  It makes me feel a bit off kilter.

I can’t wait to feel that power over me… to be at my knees swimming deep in my submission.  I need it… to feel balanced.  It’s not something I ever like going without.  This particular dry spell.. there is not blame to be assigned.  It happened and was out of our hands.  I know that Ben is just as eager to get back to the way it was.  Sigh… I can’t wait.  🙂