I’ve always seen the types of submissives that their Dom or Master molds them into their idea of what a good submissive or slave is.  I think this words really well for some people, but for Ben and I, well I always felt we wanted pretty much the same thing… desired the same thing.  So in this.. I didn’t really feel like he had molded me into anything other than what I’ve always been.

Maybe this logic is flawed.  I think we are all a certain way… and the people in our lives that we spend the most time with influence us.  I think its naive to think that we are unchanged by others to a point.  Maybe I’m just talking out of my ass here.  It all makes sense in my head, I promise!

So.. my point.  It occurred to me the other night… that in my head I’d always felt like I evolved into things.  In some ways I have on my own.. but the things about me that have evolved were because of others.  Case in point… my love of anal sex.

Anal was always something I just did… not really enjoyed so much.  I was willing though.. as long as it wasn’t often.  It hurts!  Even when Ben and I first got together… it wasn’t really something I sought after.  I knew how much he loved it though… and slowly I’d make mention of it because deep down I just wanted to make him happy and satisfied.  It was something he wanted a lot.. and I was willing to make some strides in doing it more often.   It still wasn’t something we did often, which I often wondered why, even after I suggested we do it more often.

Over the years it became more often… and then when we started down this path, it became something very common.  It was something he conditioned my ass for.. so that it wouldn’t hurt so bad.  I thought for sure it would take a while to do that… but strangely enough… it happened relatively quickly.  I started actually really enjoying it.  I’d have the most amazing orgasms when we had anal…. it was like I had fought it mentally so long, not knowing the wonders that in store.  I think it was then that the transformation took place, from something that I just did to something I craved.

Naturally, Ben is thrilled that I love it so much.  I’d never have thought I would.  It’s crazy the things you can condition yourself to do and endure… and actually love.  This was something he pushed for… even if I openly embraced it… but it was what he wanted.  And in this… I became what he wanted.  He wanted a woman that would openly serve him in anyway his heart (cock?) desired… and that meant anal whenever he wants.  So here I am… without realizing it… his vision.  Who’d have known?

I love being his.. and have no shame in saying I’ve changed because of him.  I don’t see it at all as a bad thing.. but a good one.  It makes us both happier.. how could it be negative?  I know I’m not a big fan of change but sometimes, its a very good thing.

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