We just returned from vacation last night… and it was certainly a good one.  We visited the Redwood forest, the Oregon Caves, and Crater Lake in Oregon.  It was a whirlwind vacation… were were always on the go and packed in so much.  We had a whole lot of firsts which was really awesome to experience as a family.  The kids ranked this vacation as their second favorite… only bested by Disneyland.  Who’d have known a camping trip would rank so closely to the happiest place on Earth?  In any case, it makes me smile to know they had an amazing time.

If you read my last post… you will know how stressed and cranky I was going into this vacation.  Unfortunately, that didn’t fade with the 1,221 miles we traveled.  There were many instances I was a real pain in the ass.  I let my stress and my need to control things get in the way.  At home it’s easy.. things stay the same… they are predictable.   On vacation… nothing is predictable other than the things we planned to do and see.

Then there was Ben’s crankiness… which I feed off of.  Some how we kept getting each other wrong… I’d say something that he would hear the wrong way… and we’d end up snapping at each other.  It was a horrible feeling.  I felt like he just criticizing here and there… and it was wearing me thin.  Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time and lots of wonderful moments.. but I will always remember those moments where I wasn’t very slave-like… where I disrespected my Owner… and I have to say… I’m pretty ashamed of my actions.

The worst moment was when we were packing up camp… and I just lost it.  I was super cranky… and disrespectful.  I could see myself doing it.. and couldn’t stop myself.  I let it get the best of me.   There I was…. being scolded… being told to knock it off and I couldn’t shake that defiant feeling.  I couldn’t let go of my annoyance… my crankiness, try as I might.

I didn’t know what awaited me when I got home… I knew I had been way out of line.  I knew that he understood why I had behaved the way I had, but that didn’t excuse it… it was no reason.  I am his slave and he demands respect.  If I won’t give him that.. there is a price to pay.  Deep down I hoped that he would punish me.  I needed that correction… that guidance to get back on track.  After we unpacked and showered… by the time it was bed time I did my nightly devotion.  When he came to me, I was bowing before him and he talked to me… asking me stuff.. about my behavior on our trip.

He told me that I would be punished and then I would pleasure him after- not severely.. but punished nonetheless.  I knew I had it coming… and I still dreaded it.  I knew that meant I’d be spanked with the hanger… and I hate it.  I took it with grace though.  I had accepted the punishment before he even said anything about it… I knew I had earned it.

Once each blows were administered… I served my owner… and swallowed every last drop of his cum.  And like that, my sins were washed away.  We would move on from this point.  There is no need to dwell on it… but learn from my actions.  I can’t say it won’t happen again, but I certainly will try for it not to happen.  I like being his well behaved slave.. one he can count on to remember her place, not a bratty, unruly slave.  Now that we are home.. things will settle down and I can go back to being more like myself.  This is a good thing.

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