We are leaving to go camping today.  It’s been a stressful process getting everything put together and packed.  I haven’t been the most patient, nor well behaved slave.   I’ve been snappy… and irritable.  The pressure of getting it all done and making sure we have everything has gotten to me.  It makes me pretty unbearable to be around… and it’s down right embarrassing that a woman of my age would behave like that.  Sometimes I just let things get the best of me… and then I’m out of control.

Honestly, Ben has been a saint and put up with my grouchiness… heaven knows why.  I’m not sure why he hasn’t bent me over the bed and given me a sound spanking.  I know I need it… and I know I won’t be able to ask for it as the kids being home makes it hard to have spankings during the week.  I haven’t had a spanking in over a week.. and I can feel it in every inch of my body.

Over the weekend.. he worked too much and when we did have the opportunity to do so, we used it to reconnect after many days of not having much time together.  At the time, it was just what we needed… and I felt really good afterwards.  But now that I’m neck deep in vacation work… I feel the lack of a spanking eating away at me.  It’s making me a disrespectful brat to be honest.

Deep down I just want him to grab me by the hair and drag me to our room to tell me to knock my crap off.  He knows how stressed I am and I imagine that’s a big part of why he hasn’t.  I’m sure he thinks it would make matter worse, though I don’t think I agree with that.  I think I need his strong hand.. keeping me in line.  I feel poorly about my behavior… and will be apologizing to him later.  Though.. perhaps I should just pull my head out of my ass so that there is nothing to apologize for.

Vacations are supposed to relaxing but at the moment I feel frazzled.  I hope that once we are out and about I will chill out and enjoy it.   I’d hate to need a vacation from my vacation…. and I’d really hate to earn myself a punishment.  Though… I feel like I’ve already earned one.  This stubborn and cranky girl needs to be put in her place.  I’d hate to be my Owner right now!