One year ago today… I was collared by Ben.  What a ride it has been!  I have to say.. I don’t regret our choice for one second.  It has enriched our life ten fold and given me a peace that I didn’t expect.  Don’t get me wrong, I have struggled and assume I will continue to do so.  I think that’s a part of life, though.  Everyone struggles… it’s how we learn.

I think that it’s important in this life to seek out the things that complete you.. make you feel whole.  I don’t think just one thing or activity can provide that, but a network of things that fills this internal gap.  I’ve found my fillers… even if they were not found all at once.  My job is fulfilling… my kids make me proud and push me to grow as a person… and being his… well that’s something special all in itself.

I never thought that I could live as someone’s owned property.  The idea was so very foreign to me… and totally hard to understand.  I tried hard to wrap my head around the idea and understand the motivations behind making such a radical life choice.  It’s funny to me how much someone can change once you truly embrace and understand something.  What was once something that didn’t get at all became something I craved with great intensity.  I didn’t think of it every moment but it did become an idea that was in the front of my mind.

It would only take a moment of bravery to forever change the course of our marriage.  It took me telling him I wanted him to own me to bring about a difference.  The idea was scary and exciting all at the same time.  We entered into this new world with open hearts and hope to match.  The beginning saw growing pains and several punishments that took hold in my mind.  There was moments of strictness and other times filled with more slack.  Some where in there we found a good balance and still try to keep that precarious balance.

Has it been worth it?  Oh hell yes!  The feeling of being his is unlike any other.  I can’t describe what it’s like to be on my knees at his feet… looking up at him, seeing this intense love in his eyes… intense emotion… just in-tenseness.   It makes my heart soar… and my breath hitch in my chest.  I long for those moments and any struggle I have, those moments where we exist just as we should be are enough for me.   Luckily for us.. we have many moments that are special… that brings us together in our extraordinary connection.

And so… a year later.. we are going strong.  Still happy with the choice we’ve made.. looking forward to the many years that lay ahead of us.  I cannot imagine not being his slave for one moment anymore.  It wouldn’t feel right to either of us I’m sure.  I would’ve never guessed this would be my life.. but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

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