We were still laying in bed after my birthday spankings.  We were facing each other… soaking up what just transpired.  All I was thinking of was how much I wanted to cum.  I knew I had the green light to do it… but in my head I was struggling with my preexisting programing on such things.  Usually I’m not allowed to cum without his specific permission.  It’s been almost a year since that was set in motion.  At first I struggled with it… but I’ve come to terms with it now.  It doesn’t feel right taking liberties with my body anymore.  It belongs to my Owner.

We stayed still for a while… before he was wanting to get up… all the while I kept trying to talk myself into just going for it.  It’s kind of crazy how you can change the way you think.  I know I never thought I’d make it to feeling this way… that I only have rights to touch myself when he says.  I’m glad I’ve found peace with it.  In that peace… I mustered all my gumption and went for it as Ben was trying to get us up off the bed.

He seemed amused at going for my present.  I dipped my fingers into my cunt as we chatted about it.  Part of me thought he’d stop me… but, of course, he didn’t.  He laid next to me as I rubbed my clit… and would rewet my fingers deep inside of my cunt.

He laid next to me…. touching me… all the while I worked myself over.  My eyes stayed shut… all sorts of images flying through my head… aiding my fingers in their combined goal.  It didn’t take long before I was moaning with pleasure… and curling into my Owner’s arms.  Such a strange feeling….  giving myself pleasure.. because I wanted it.. without permission.  I can’t say that I’m all together comfortable with it.  I came really close just asking for an orgasm before I went for it.  Asking just seemed more natural now… what is expected.

It all makes me remember more that I am owned… who knew that it would have that effect?  I thought it would make me feel more free…. in charge of myself just for the day… at least my body.  Instead the exact opposite happened… what a good feeling.  I certainly wouldn’t have it anyway.  My body.. my orgasm belong to Ben.