The past few weeks we’ve had a lot on our plates.  My oldest daughter has been keeping us on our toes so to speak… and mentally and emotionally it.. it is draining.  I’m sure anyone that is a parent can understand.. especially when the kiddo makes the change towards the teenage years.  Upon coming home today from a meeting at her school, I started to think.  I think so many times I feel like I’ve always been a mom… and that I will continue to play that parent role as it is now.  That isn’t the case.  One day… like all children do, my two girls will grow up and hopefully we will have shaped them into wonderful adults.  One day… it will be just the two of us.

One day.. that last bit of control I have in my home… will be gone.  I wont be in control of my children anymore. I wont have to exert authority when I am home.  It makes me wonder what that will be like.  The idea is so foreign to me…. not having that parental obligation to be in charge.  In so many things.. I like the control of knowing things are the way I want them to be.  Me being a parent is comfort and security in knowing I am the one calling the shots (along side Ben of course… as we are a team).  So when that is gone.. I truly wonder what that will be like.  There will be nothing left that I call the shots on…

We have a good 10-11 years before this will be a reality… so it’s not like just around the corner.. but it is the first time I really thought about that.  Maybe I won’t struggle so much with my inner battle for control.  That would be wonderful.  It will just be… and I look forward to that sort of piece.  I look forward to the time when all my focus can be on him at home and not pulled in twenty different directions as I put on my many hats.  `

I don’t think I really have a point to this post…. more just about my thoughts.  It was interesting to see my world in a different way.  I think I see so much of my world the way it is right now.. and not how it will be.  I love to think about the future but I really do love enjoying what we have right now.. in this moment.  After all.. as time passes.. all we will have is the memories of those moments we lived in.

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