Maintenance spankings… now there’s a topic I’ve pondered many times.  This is one of those things that a lot of people do.. but isn’t by any means a must do.  It varies from each relationship (as everything does really)… as in how its done… when.. and why.  I’m going to break it down… as I see it… from what I’ve read and heard personally.


There are couples that use this time for the bottom/sub (what have you) to confess anything that’s happened in the period of time between the current spanking and the last.  The top/Dom decides how many swats and to what severity this revelation has earned. Others use the behavior  from say the last week as a gauge for the spanking to come.  Then there’s the couples that just spank with no reason other than it keeps the sub in the head space that is required. I personally think that regular spankings keeps me on track… less likely to lash or be a pain in the ass.


Ideally a maintenance spanking happens on a regular basis.. be it once a week or once a month.  This is not to say that impromptu spankings don’t happen, but I think the beauty of this is that it’s something to look forward to… it provides stability. It’s something both can rely on to happen. Obviously not everything is ideal… there are times where scheduled spankings aren’t going to happen.  I would assume that this spanking would be taken care of at the first available moment… after all… when routines are broken… it leaves this sense of free falling of sorts. At least… that’s how it is for me. I know a few spanking blogs I’ve read have a set day where both participants focus on the task at hand. A spanking to keep the spankee in line.


Well why ask why? My thoughts are a scheduled spanking makes sure that the sub is behaving like the Dom  wants. It’s a reminder that this is his or her place… best not forget. I think it keeps both focused on the relationship… be it TIH… D/s… M/s… etc.   It gives them a chance to connect in their roles… and lets everything that’s not about that fall to the side for that brief time. So many times… life gets in the way. It is a struggle to make it all work. Being in a power exchange relationship takes work (just as any relationship does) and it’s easy to fall to the wayside with this.  It’s easy to fall into a pattern where spankings a fewer and farther in between. I personally don’t like that. It leaves me feeling uneasy… restless in a way. I get cranky.. and I hate it. It makes me snippy with Ben.. which does neither of us any good.

So why am I blogging about this?

Well… that’s easy. It’s something I wish our relationship had. I love play time… so much… but there’s something about a simple spanking that keeps my head in check. I like being held accountable for my actions… thoughts.. behaviors.  I think I tend to push my luck too much. I am a stubborn woman…. strong willed… all that good stuff. The majority of our relationship has been equal… and I’ve been able to react however I wanted. Sometimes… that would be snippy and short. I’ve been downright bitchy. I don’t like acting like that towards him. It’s not what he deserves. He is so patient with me.. and honestly sometimes I don’t deserve it. I get so irritated and forget my place. It’s hard to bite my tongue.

Even if this is something I think would work for us… it doesn’t mean it will happen. I don’t make changes in this relationship… can merely suggest them.  Maybe he doesn’t think it would be good for us… either of us. I really couldn’t tell you what his thoughts on this are. We’ve never really discussed it before.. not sure why. I guess I really didn’t want to shape our D/s relationship… but more wanted to follow his lead. I tend to be a control freak… and it’s hard to let go. Letting go with him is good for me though.  It scares me sometimes not being in control… being able to decide what happens next. I trust his decisions though… or else I couldn’t do this. I know he wont steer us wrong.. and if he makes a wrong step.. I know that he will fix it.

I think I’ve lost focus here. 🙂

Spankings… they’re good. Good for the soul… good for the mood. Nuff said.