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Ah.. another Thursday here… and honestly I can say… I’m not feeling so sexy today. (wow that rhymed.) With all the that’s been on my plate… its hard sometimes to feel like a sexual creature.

I had my consult for a tubal ligation Monday. I was given two options. The tubal or a fairly new alternative procedure called Essure. I had a friend that had the Essure done.. and honestly, she hated it. Said she’d wished she had just had the tubal which, of course, made me a little uneasy. At first glance… it does seem like the better option. It’s less invasive… no incisions…. and no down time from work.

I spent the next next scouring the internet for any info I could get on both. Stories from people that had actually experienced either… it was a long and draining process. I really didn’t want to do either…. neither one of them sounded like any fun…. and I found pros and cons ran strong for both.

At the end of it, I did make a decision. The straw for me… was that the Essure has only been out since 2002… therefore… they have no idea what long term effects are. What happens in 20 years? I think that’s a huge chance to take… and not one I’m willing to take.

Yes, I will have to take off a week from work (which could be a blessing in disguise)… and yes.. I’m sure I’ll be sore…. and yes… I’ll have scars… BUT… when I leave that day.. I will no longer have to worry about birth control. No more hormones fucking with my body and head. No more babies. And that’s… what its all about for me.

So.. no, I’m not feeling very sexy… I’m still scared. I will be scared till its over. I’m waiting for the doctors office to call me to schedule my surgery. The sooner the better. I can’t wait to put this year behind me… this nightmare of birth control gone wrong… and start fresh… free of the burden.

Next…. next week I’ll do something better. Till then…. HHNT everyone!

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