>Ben and I were talking last night… just one of those out of the blue conversations. We were talking about sex… about how I love our sex… and stuff that I want to do. I told him I wanted him to push me… to push me hard… so hard that it made me cry. He seemed a little uncertain about it and said that he didn’t know if he could do that. He said it may be different in the moment.

I really want this… I want that kind of release. I want the pain to be so intense.. the emotion so intense that tears well up inside… and I feel that relief of letting go. I live for being pushed.. to see how far I can go. I want to know what my breaking point is, just so I can build on it.. and improve.

I want him to be able to invoke that kind of emotion in me. I want to see that kind of trust in front of me because I know its there… it will just take time to build to that.

Does that seem odd that I want my husband to make me cry? That I want him to bring me to my knees… and hold me close bringing me back to reality?

I don’t think its odd… I mean it can’t be that weird… or atleast not for me… because its what I want… what I need.