SO I’ve been gone a while huh? Things have been just crazy in my world. I’m always so busy and on the go. Sitting here and thinking about how long it’s been… it’s kind of shocking. Months… my blog has been dark for months.
I figure I owe my blog an update.
The end of May I decided it was time a change personally. I have been overweight my whole life. I can’t ever remember being thin because honestly, I never was. I always loved who I was but I knew that being heavy was going to lower my quality of life. I think that turning 30 really changed me in so many ways. It was like a light bulb went off. I had tried to lose weight before and was never able to stick with it. My will power just wasn’t there.
I woke up one day and decided it was finally time. I was there mentally and physically to make a change. So I made a lifestyle change… and stepped up to the plate so to speak. I had a lofty goal… 70 lbs. I put my head and heart into it.. and off I went.
The first two months I had a bad day every week. I stuck to my calorie intake but emotionally I would be drained. I missed eating like everyone in my family… it was so hard. As time passed… it got easier. I found that I was starting not to have bad days at all. In fact I haven’t had a bad day since Father’s Day. I was probably three months in before I finally felt like it wasn’t a diet but a lifestyle change. I can’t imagine going back to my old habits. It’s just disgusting to me.
Somewhere along the path I realized I wouldn’t be happy losing 70 lbs and changed my goal weight. It upped my weight loss to 80 lbs. I hit my half way point last Sunday. I am currently down 40 lbs… and couldn’t be happier about it. It’s weird going shopping for clothes now because I don’t really know where to look. I will tell you though, with each smaller size… it feels amazing.
Along side my weight loss I have become quite active. I work out five days a week. I plan on doing a 10k in the Spring… and hopefully a full marathon by next Fall. It’s a huge goal but honestly… I am so driven… I know I can do it. I keep pushing myself further and further and amaze myself with what I am capable of. I feel amazing… I can’t really put it into words how it makes me feel. I could go on and on about it. I won’t though. I will just say, I’m so proud of myself… because I did this.. all of it. Even if I had support… I made this change all on my own.
And as if that isn’t enough… there is more change in my world. I have received a promotion at work. I am now the manager of the bakery I work in. It’s been a whirlwind and I’ve worked so hard to earn it. There has been lots of stress along the way but I feel like I’m finally settling into the position. It’s weird being in charge that much is sure. I kind of like it. This doesn’t really surprise me though. I think that being submissive is only something I like in my relationship.
I tell you, this year has been amazing. So much in my world is right at the moment. Of course, the thing that’s fallen to the side is our dynamic. We both miss it so but have so much on our plate. Ben has been super busy at work as well. They had some changes at work and he had to pick up the slack. He had weeks of sixty hour weeks. It really drained him. We just focused on being together when we were and loving each other. That was what was important.
We are on the other side of this now and have intentions of trying to get back to where we were. I truly hope we can. It’s a good place for us to be… and we both know it. It seems like we have been struggling for so long now with this. I have to believe we can get back to where we were. Time will tell.
On the Issac front, he and I have parted ways. He just doesn’t have the time to devote to our relationship right now. We hope that at some point this will change and we can reconnect. It’s sad… and that’s all I want to say about it.
So there you have it… this is my world in a nutshell. I’m going beautiful places. I never though turning 30 would be so wonderful. I feel so alive. Being away hasn’t been so bad.